Session 32 - The Howling Commandos
The Empire has shown up on Kilia. The Nerfherders are now pitted against enemies on all sides.
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Scruffy Nerfherders Full Episode
Originally aired: August 29, 2018
Podcast Edited by Case Aiken
Music: Purple Planet Music
Music: www.purple-planet.com
Certain Point Of View is a podcast network brining you all sorts of nerdy goodness! From Star Wars role playing, to Disney day dreaming, to video game love, we've got the show for you! Learn more on our website: https://www.certainpov.com
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⏱️ Chapters
00:06 Welcome and Intros
01:52 Introducing Arvis Reed
03:20 Introducing Phallus Vag Killer
04:08 Everyone Is Ben
05:34 Introducing Stembolt
06:06 Recap Roll
07:00 Jmike Recaps the Last Session
09:16 Mara Jade Arrives
10:27 Surrounded by Stormtroopers
12:49 Looking for a Way Out
13:44 The Susan Pulls Back
14:22 Arvis Tries Diplomacy
16:09 Talking to the Stormtroopers
18:17 The Bluff and Moonwalk
19:06 The Troopers Catch On
20:01 Arvis Gets Taken Down
21:11 Looking for an Escape
22:12 What Do We Do With Arvis?
24:03 Finn Makes the Call
24:27 The Fastball Special
25:00 Arvis Fights the Stormtroopers
27:17 Suppressing Fire
28:11 Heavy Stormtrooper Armor
28:40 Finn Pulls Arvis Back
31:28 The Signet Ring
32:25 House Tiank Opens
33:05 Behind the Force Shield
34:36 The Communications Skill Challenge
35:30 Stembolt Runs Diagnostics
36:46 Phallus Starts Repairs
37:34 Arvis Tries to Help
38:26 TIE Fighters Attack
39:52 Phallus Finds the Defense Systems
40:50 House Tiank’s Guns Come Online
42:12 Arvis Finds a Turret
43:30 Rebooting the Communications Array
45:08 Contacting the Killian Rangers
45:47 The Star War
46:17 Arvis Takes Another Shot
47:04 Arvis Downs a TIE Fighter
47:12 The Force Shield Fails
48:09 The Star Destroyer Attacks
48:23 Stormtroopers Breach the Tower
49:09 Mara Jade Confronts the Party
49:35 The Crimson Warriors Return
49:57 Cliffhanger
50:19 Outro
52:10 Post-Show
Transcription
00:06
Addy
Hey Nerf Herders, I'm Adi Thomas and.
00:08
Ben
I'm an exhausting Ben Milton.
00:10
Jmike
I'm J. Mike Folson.
00:12
Case Aiken
And I'm Case Aiken.
00:13
Addy
Thanks for joining us for another session of the Scruffy Nerf Herders. And thank you for taking time to choose among the millions of podcasts our Ridiculous Adventures. That is an amazing compliment to be honest, that you think that this ridiculous story and these are absolutely inane adventures are worth your time and effort. So really appreciate that if you like what you hear here on this podcast, you probably would appreciate Certain Point of View as well. And another pass with our very own Case Taken our Dungeon Master Certain Point of Views with me and Ben where we talk about the Star wars world and we just forgot for a single patron. We did a World of Warcraft episode exclusive to Patreon because they wanted to hear our thoughts on World War the current expansion of World of Warcraft.
01:08
Addy
And then of course there's also fun and games with Matt and Jeff recently they were talking about portable games and sort of and they cover lots of different topics within the gaming world. You can check out all of that on our website, certainpov.com while you're there, please be sure to check out some of the people who support us, including Maria Monzon. You know, we all, we're supported by our patrons, which you can check that out as well. But we're also supported by our friend Maria. She's actually my Liberty Mutual insurance agent. She got me hooked up with a great rate incredibly quickly and easily was very clear and easy to work with and just an absolute pleasure to work with as well. You can find Maria's contact information if you're looking for any type of insurance.
01:52
Addy
You know, auto, home, life insurance in particular, she's certified in a number of states including dc, Maryland and Virginia I believe Florida as well. And if you are outside of those areas as well, she can still be an asset to you and help you out. Just go to our website certainpov.com and check out our supporters. Let's go ahead and get started with this adventure and we'll just kind of introduce the different characters that are part of this game. I'll go ahead and get started as obviously I'm Addie Thomas. I am Arvis Reed. I am a country bumpkin. I'm a literal nerf herder and I you know what, I got the chance to get up into one of them there metal birds in the sky that I've always dreamed of flying in And. And I. I got to do some shooting.
02:47
Ben
Fly, Arvis, fly. Yeah.
02:50
Case Aiken
Abby, how did it feel to play a character who could actually hit something?
02:53
Addy
Oh, my God. I made me really wish that role had happened when there was a forced lightning roll at one point.
03:02
Ben
I bet you do.
03:04
Addy
I mean, that character was very wise.
03:07
Jmike
Was he?
03:08
Addy
Very, very wise. Was able to see past some of your short sightedness? I. If. If you look at it from a certain point of view.
03:20
Ben
My name is Ben Milton and I'm playing the role of Phallus Vag killer. I am a human fringer, sort of a survivalist from the outer Rim who kind of gets by on actual wit and skill.
03:31
Addy
Have you figured out what. What planet you're from? Is it reading?
03:35
Ben
Yeah.
03:39
Addy
You're a friend. You're in real life too, aren't you?
03:41
Ben
I hate you so much. Thank you so much. Shove you in one of those nerves. All right.
03:49
Jmike
Yeah.
03:49
Case Aiken
We joked that Addy was playing what he thought of you, but you're also still kind of playing what I'm still kind of playing.
03:54
Ben
Yeah, there's just like. There's like. There's just a version and B version. It's just. How amped up of me do you want? Like, which part of my personality do you want to amplify? The dick part or the inbred hillbilly part?
04:08
Case Aiken
And then. Then J Mike. J Mike is playing the, like, professional version of you.
04:16
Ben
Yeah. As the engineer who's. Who's confident. Yeah, yeah.
04:19
Addy
Stimul's the most employable one.
04:21
Ben
This really. This is really just sort of like a one man play about. This is.
04:25
Addy
This is technically. This is J Mike's LinkedIn profile.
04:29
Jmike
Yeah, you can say that.
04:31
Case Aiken
And then Corey was how, like, the outside world perceives Ben.
04:34
Jmike
Yes.
04:35
Ben
As a complete idiot. It really is about me. This is really disturbing. I don't really like this show anymore. You'd think, like the narcissist.
04:45
Addy
We can unravel the intervention banner.
04:49
Ben
This is a hell of a way to go, guys. You could have just said something like, a year ago.
04:54
Case Aiken
Yeah, we sprung for the sign.
04:55
Ben
Thanks, guys. That means a lot. The fact that you'd actually spring for the sign tells me you really do care.
05:03
Case Aiken
Well, man, we.
05:03
Jmike
We.
05:04
Case Aiken
We do want to talk.
05:06
Ben
I'm glad we're recording this. It seems appropriate.
05:11
Case Aiken
So you're among friends.
05:12
Jmike
Uhhuh.
05:12
Ben
I mean, that's debatable. Let's be honest, Finn.
05:16
Case Aiken
I've known you for over a decade, and I love you.
05:19
Ben
Thank you, Case. I love you too.
05:22
Case Aiken
I think Addy wants to say something now. I know.
05:26
Ben
Nope, we're gonna leave it there.
05:29
Jmike
Okay.
05:29
Case Aiken
And this bit is done. All right.
05:32
Ben
Worst intervention ever.
05:33
Case Aiken
Yeah.
05:34
Jmike
All right. My name is J. Mike, and I play Stembolt's newer. I'm the tech specialist. I fix things that they can't fix. That's about it. That's all I got for tonight.
05:47
Addy
You know you're also a Zabrak.
05:48
Jmike
Yes, I am a Zabrak, too. I'm sorry,.
05:54
Ben
Are you waiting for me to tell you a little bit more about my line?
05:59
Jmike
Yes.
06:01
Addy
I missed you guys.
06:02
Ben
It's nice having you in the room with us.
06:06
Case Aiken
And I am Case Aiken, your dungeon master, guiding you on this weird adventure. And could I have everyone please refresh our memories by rolling a D20 and then whomever gets the highest number giving a recap.
06:20
Addy
I've got a 12.
06:21
Ben
I got a 12 as well.
06:23
Jmike
I feel like you guys should have a roll off then.
06:25
Ben
Let's see what you got.
06:26
Addy
I see your number.
06:27
Ben
You got there.
06:28
Case Aiken
I see your number, man.
06:31
Addy
You get extra xp, buddy.
06:33
Ben
Yeah, frankly, you need it after that intro because your tech special is, you.
06:38
Addy
Know, it's sort of, you know, do it. You haven't used it very well so far.
06:44
Ben
Yes, he fixed a couple things.
06:47
Jmike
That droid had a name, sir.
06:50
Ben
We don't know what it is.
06:53
Case Aiken
It was 0111-00-210001.
07:00
Jmike
Let's see. So there was a fight.
07:05
Addy
There was a firefight.
07:07
Jmike
Okay, so last episode was when we left Arvis's family at the house. Right. Okay. So after our negotiations fell through, we left the house with Arvis, his sisters, and our kittens.
07:24
Ben
What happened with the sisters?
07:25
Jmike
Nothing happened with the sisters. I said the negotiations fell through. We're leaving it there. And we started our long trek back to the Susan. Nothing happened. It was long. We got lost in this hand storm. And after that, we came upon the Susan. We saw that the Susan was already taken over by the Loyalists. I think they were from the house. The cousin. I forgot his name.
07:54
Case Aiken
You're very close. Come on. It's House Fedor.
07:56
Jmike
There you go. House Fed. Door. And so we had to make up a plan how to take it back. And then Slippery Gem snuck up on us, got Arvis, made fun of him for a while. And then we came up with a plan about how to take back the Susan. And Fous couldn't hit anything with the guns. I hit stuff. And then he took me off the guns now and put Arvis on the guns. And then Arvis did all the shooting and failures hit nothing?
08:25
Case Aiken
Wow, this is accurate. Yes.
08:32
Jmike
And then from the clouds, ships broke through and panic came over us all because were like, oh crap, we're in trouble now. And then the ship started attacking the city and we flew the Susan to the city to look for survivors and help them out and was that where we left off or.
09:00
Case Aiken
You're pretty close to. Was a cliffhanger, I'll give you that.
09:09
Jmike
There was someone one of the ships.
09:12
Case Aiken
I think that's implied that there were.
09:14
Ben
People on the ship.
09:14
Jmike
There was somebody important.
09:16
Ben
Stars, there was someone important fly by themselves.
09:19
Addy
Mara, Jade.
09:20
Jmike
There we go.
09:20
Ben
There it is.
09:22
Case Aiken
Well, hold on. Your characters don't know that yet.
09:25
Addy
Oh, but recapping it for the audience.
09:28
Jmike
The audience needs to know these things.
09:30
Case Aiken
The just that you guys were. You were in. In the town square and a transport landed with a bunch of stormtroopers on it and that they were there. Sorry, Jmuk.
09:45
Ben
I didn't remember that either. Neither one of my personalities apparently remembered that part of it.
09:52
Case Aiken
No, one third did. Addie didn't.
09:54
Ben
That's not bad. That's actually pretty accurate for my memory.
09:57
Case Aiken
You went there and remembered everything.
09:59
Jmike
Yeah, we did a thing. That's all I got for that.
10:05
Ben
I came prepared to play tonight, buddy. Brought the A game. I love it. Yeah, you got that. You got that post BFA lethargy in you tonight.
10:13
Jmike
Now this is like all like cold medicine right now kicking in.
10:17
Case Aiken
Oh, cool. The sickies.
10:18
Jmike
Yeah. So I'm kind of here there.
10:21
Case Aiken
I'm so glad I'm stuck in a trapped room with you right now.
10:24
Addy
Hi, friends.
10:27
Case Aiken
All right, so you guys, when. When last we left off, were just being confronted with a huge swarm of stormtroopers coming off of an imperial troop or coming off an Imperial transport. They have signaled for you to have your hands up and their guns are drawn. It's just flat out too many to fight with your current stormtroopers.
10:53
Jmike
They can't hit us.
10:55
Case Aiken
You're okay.
10:55
Jmike
You.
10:56
Case Aiken
You are welcome to make that decision. I am saying what common sense would tell you.
11:00
Addy
These sure are a lot of white things. Are these people?
11:08
Case Aiken
I said arms up.
11:12
Jmike
Oh, okay.
11:12
Ben
Hands up. Don't shoot.
11:15
Addy
Wait, they gonna shoot us?
11:17
Jmike
Probably.
11:17
Ben
Yes, they will. Yes, it will.
11:19
Addy
What? Wait, how do you. With what?
11:22
Ben
With those big guns they're holding you, dummy.
11:27
Jmike
He doesn't remember where guns are. What? So explain to him.
11:31
Ben
Oh, that's right. You've never seen guns. I forgot about that. You backwater mouth. Breathing. All right.
11:37
Addy
Is that kind of like the things that were on the. The metal bird.
11:41
Jmike
Yeah.
11:41
Ben
Yes, but they carry them around. See, they're holding them like they carry those things. Yes. Yeah, kind of like that.
11:48
Case Aiken
Yeah, it's going to go really well.
11:50
Addy
I'll be nerfed.
11:52
Ben
Yeah, you'll be more than nerfed.
11:55
Case Aiken
Oh, day. So, yeah.
12:00
Addy
Sorry.
12:01
Jmike
You.
12:01
Case Aiken
You. You all. Hi. As I'm a Gungan, there. There's no concealing this, is there?
12:07
Ben
No.
12:10
Case Aiken
I was really hoping to do try the whole like, oh, we're natives. But it's. These are not gonna work today.
12:16
Ben
Not with that.
12:17
Addy
You're a gun. Gun. Does that make you related to these. These guns things that they got only below my waist.
12:24
Case Aiken
Pumpkin.
12:25
Ben
Oh, God.
12:26
Jmike
That just happened.
12:28
Addy
Oh, so disturbing.
12:31
Ben
Because that's something I would say.
12:35
Case Aiken
Slippery Jim, full circle.
12:37
Ben
Damn it. I can't wait till it's the episode about Addie.
12:47
Addy
Simple. Arvis.
12:49
Jmike
The.
12:49
Case Aiken
The stormtroopers are moving again. Guns are. Are up and they're moving to flank you on all sides. Are you going guys gonna try anything? You are armed. You do not have. The majority of your people, they stayed on the ship, which stayed out of town because you guys got dropped off to investigate. But it's only the. The three of you, plus Finn and Slippery Jim.
13:17
Jmike
Is there anywhere to run to? But now we're being flanked. We can't go anywhere.
13:21
Case Aiken
We could retreat.
13:23
Jmike
To where?
13:24
Case Aiken
Back to the Susan, don't. You know, we could try to make it inside. If we can make it inside the tower, I have the signet ring to get us in. And we'd be protected, at least for a time, behind the force screen.
13:34
Ben
Or we'd be trapped.
13:37
Case Aiken
Yeah, yeah, but there's a communications array there. I could signal for the other Rangers.
13:44
Ben
That sounds like probably our best bet.
13:46
Case Aiken
Good idea, because we can't fly the Susan off the.
13:49
Ben
Off the planet no matter what.
13:51
Case Aiken
Yeah, speaking of which, and Slippery Jim like shoulders. What you think? Must be like some sort of like emergency comm signal for him.
13:58
Jmike
Okay.
13:59
Case Aiken
Yo, Peego. Yeah, Pico. So the. They don't know that the Susan is necessarily here. I would say stay out of visual range. We've got ships inbound. As long as they don't know to scan for you, they're not going to find you. So I would say back up until you hear our signal, but when we do, you're gonna want to come fast.
14:22
Addy
So are we past the point of talking to these fellas? I mean, I. You guys seem to know him a little bit. Would. Would it make sense for someone to Be. You know who would be a more diplomatic type individual to be able to talk to them.
14:37
Ben
You know what?
14:37
Case Aiken
This is your planet.
14:38
Ben
You should do it.
14:40
Addy
Oh, I, I don't. I've been told that's not necessarily a skill set.
14:44
Case Aiken
Pumpkin, I kind of love this idea. Why don't you. Why don't you go say hello while we discreetly stand exactly where we are right now?
14:56
Addy
Well, aren't they already pointing a gun at us?
14:58
Case Aiken
Yes. You keep walking forward to them. Keep walking forward.
15:01
Ben
Keep your hands up and just start talking.
15:02
Case Aiken
Walk forward. You talk.
15:04
Addy
You.
15:04
Case Aiken
You. The sound of your voice. I know. Will just completely enthrall them. Yes, that's. That's the word I'm looking for.
15:14
Addy
Well, I feel like you guys are just not open to believing, and sometimes believing can manifest itself into. To actuality. So I'm. I'm going to see how these guys. You know,.
15:28
Jmike
We just lost fus.
15:30
Case Aiken
All right, you.
15:32
Addy
You.
15:32
Case Aiken
You do that. You do that, bumpkin.
15:34
Jmike
You.
15:34
Case Aiken
You go. Everyone, as. As he steps forward. We should just, just moon.
15:38
Addy
Have you never listened to space Tony Robbins before?
15:42
Ben
Yes. I have some coals for you to.
15:43
Case Aiken
Walk to this, everyone. So what we're going to try to do is just look like you're. You're standing in place, but you're actually going backwards. I think they call it the moonwalk.
15:52
Ben
Oh, sweet.
15:54
Case Aiken
But let's just. Let's just do that, perhaps silently, while he walks forward and tries to, I don't know, bluff or be diplomatic. I, I don't really care. Cause a distraction. It's totally fine. Whatever could do your thing, baby.
16:09
Addy
Oh. Oh, hey there. Well, what should I call you guys? You guys just are all. All kind of dressed in white. What. How. How do I address you? You gentlemen. You fine gentlemen today.
16:22
Case Aiken
Drop any weapons?
16:23
Addy
Oh, I, I don't have any weapons.
16:28
Case Aiken
Wait, are you a native?
16:32
Ben
Yes.
16:32
Addy
I live on this planet. Kill ya.
16:36
Case Aiken
Oh, God damn it.
16:39
Addy
Do you need help? The. Do you guys need to pick up supplies of some sort of. Is there anything I can help you with?
16:45
Case Aiken
We're looking for a Keldor.
16:48
Addy
I, I have never heard of a Keldor. In fact, honestly, this is the first time I've. I've seen someone descend from the sky, so I, I, I don't. Could you tell me what a Keldor is? Maybe we could see what we could help each other with.
17:04
Case Aiken
On your knees.
17:06
Ben
All right.
17:08
Addy
I, I'm not quite in. Into that, sir.
17:14
Ben
At least you got that part of my Personality.
17:16
Jmike
Right.
17:18
Addy
But they are. There are some establishments in the town that do maybe service the. Provide the services it seems like you're looking for.
17:27
Case Aiken
You hear a voice from the back of the crowd of stormtroopers go, where?
17:36
Ben
Thought you were gonna hear somebody in the back of the crowd of the townspeople go, that's not true.
17:43
Case Aiken
The stormtroopers. You hear additional bickering being like now.
17:48
Jmike
Yes.
17:49
Ben
We're gonna be here for a while.
17:51
Addy
God damn it. Well, I mean, you gentlemen could follow me down this. This way. I can take you to it. It's. It's. It's down an alleyway, so it's a. It's a little bit. You know, it's a little bit part in part of. The shadier part of our. Of our town. But if you gentlemen want to follow, I can. I can lead you to. To our. Well, it's. It's not a. Our finest establishment, but it does the job.
18:17
Case Aiken
All right, let's put some numbers in front of this one. Roll a diplomacy check for me. Or a bluff, I guess it'd be. Bluff is more accurate for this one. Meanwhile, can I have everyone else roll? Move silently checks 16.
18:29
Addy
So nobody's gonna let me lead with the following detail.
18:33
Case Aiken
That. That's 16, which is very impressive roll, all things considered. Gives the two of you guys advantage. So roll twice and take the better.
18:42
Jmike
Oh, thank God. Oh, it's still not great.
18:46
Ben
Nine. Eleven.
18:49
Jmike
The other one was a one, the.
18:51
Ben
Other one was a two. Yay.
18:59
Jmike
All right.
18:59
Ben
I can't moonwalk without saying sham on. I just can't do it.
19:06
Case Aiken
The troopers actually note the fact that you guys are trying to back up discreetly, and they.
19:15
Ben
They shoot Stimbolt.
19:19
Case Aiken
No. Some of them break past Arvis, and two of them move up to Arvis and try to grapple with them and force him to the ground.
19:31
Addy
How many stormtroopers are there total?
19:33
Case Aiken
There's like 50. You can do it.
19:37
Jmike
You got that kind of strength?
19:38
Addy
Thumbs up.
19:44
Jmike
They can't hit all of us. Maybe just one.
19:50
Ben
They're bad shots. They're gonna kill you. They're gonna take some of them their own out along. Along the way.
19:54
Case Aiken
We said tonight was not wow.
19:58
Ben
Every night's wow right now.
20:01
Case Aiken
All right, so the two that come up to Arvis are going to try to grapple you. Are you going to resist, or are you going to just let them sort of shove you down?
20:10
Addy
I'm just gonna cooperate for the moment.
20:12
Case Aiken
Okay, so they. They shove you down to the ground.
20:15
Addy
I don't quite appreciate this, sir. I I. I've been very kind and generous, so I don't appreciate the. The rough housing at this moment.
20:26
Case Aiken
And he butts you with the back of his rifle and you take five vitality points of damage. Oh, he really is Ralson. Meanwhile, troopers move towards Finn. Slippery Jim Stembalt's newer and File's vag killer guns drawn and begin threatening you. So Finn goes. I would say, don't you know that I would provide cover, but I need to both get us in the door and also use the communicator or we'll all die no matter what. So do we have other options? Is there any tauntaunts nearby? We left them at the stables, sir.
21:11
Ben
What is around us? What do we see? Is there anything? Is it just like us in a street with guns? We either drop the guns and surrender and. Or we pull the guns up and shoot.
21:21
Jmike
We're in flank, so it's not.
21:23
Case Aiken
You haven't been surrounded yet?
21:25
Jmike
Oh, we haven't?
21:25
Case Aiken
No. We have a chance here.
21:27
Addy
Do. Do we have any.
21:28
Case Aiken
Make a break for it? I can try to distract them, but I think we should all be providing suppressing fire if we're doing that. This is it, J Bike.
21:38
Addy
This is our moment with my. I. I don't know if this is possible with. But with my abilities to handle animals and my knowledge of nature. Are there any large predatory type birds that I could try to signal.
21:53
Jmike
Or.
21:53
Addy
Or heard of some sort that could stampede? What is that?
22:00
Case Aiken
No, not in this context.
22:02
Ben
Okay, that's tragic.
22:04
Addy
That's the problem with city folk. You guys are also detached from nature.
22:09
Ben
Yeah, tax squirrels. Ever heard of them?
22:12
Case Aiken
It's a thing, don't you know? I have a proposal. Now, like you, I have also grown very fond of Arvis. But hear me out.
22:27
Ben
Now, Addie's third character today,.
22:34
Addy
Gamora, ain't guard. So I'm just gonna. Not even gonna take the time to come up with words.
22:42
Ben
That would be the best role play ever.
22:45
Case Aiken
We just don't mute Addie's mic when.
22:47
Addy
He's just sitting there, right? I can just breathe. Either that or breathe and eat. Yeah, exactly. I'm just going to wet these guys. Either that or a Sarayan named Key. Adi Thomas.
23:03
Case Aiken
Well played.
23:04
Jmike
Well played.
23:04
Addy
Kind of wants to ask about Wookies all the time.
23:07
Ben
What about the Wookies?
23:10
Case Aiken
So, Arvis, who. Yes, I. You betcha. I'm very fond of. I'm gonna propose that we potentially utilize him as some sort of projectile.
23:26
Ben
Bye, Arvis.
23:28
Addy
I have friends who call that a fastball. Special.
23:31
Ben
Oh, you have friends? Yeah.
23:33
Jmike
Are they nerfs?
23:35
Addy
I have non nerf friends. I have my friend Brita that we talked about, who was basically a human water filter. I believe we already had that conversation.
23:44
Jmike
We did.
23:44
Case Aiken
Don't you know he also has his OCD obsessed friend, right?
23:48
Addy
The one who assigns numbers to some of my skills.
23:50
Ben
I thought these were all imaginary. I'm not gonna lie.
23:52
Addy
Oh, these are actual people. There are people.
23:54
Ben
This is clearly not based on my childhood where all my friends were imaginary.
23:59
Case Aiken
Oh, yeah, that sounds really sad. I'm sorry for you.
24:01
Ben
Yep.
24:03
Case Aiken
But don't, you know, if I think on. On my command, we should all make a break for it. Weapons drawn, firing as much as we can so that there's as much confusion as possible. So on my go now.
24:24
Addy
And.
24:27
Case Aiken
Finn through the force, raises the two stormtroopers that are pinning Arvis to the ground up into the air along with Arvis and fling those who stormtroopers off into the distance. In actuality, they go about 20ft each, but it's a pretty impressive flight. And Arvis gets launched up into the air further back into the crowd of the stormtroopers.
24:58
Addy
Whoa.
25:00
Case Aiken
When gravity takes hold again and he falls into the thick of them and give me a full on flurry of blows as you fall into this crowd of stormtroopers, Finn goes Arvis, defend yourself.
25:19
Ben
As he throws them.
25:24
Case Aiken
As he ignites his Killian shield and draws his lance and begins firing into the crowd.
25:30
Addy
So that would be five rolls, right?
25:32
Case Aiken
Yes.
25:32
Addy
Okay, so that is 27, 26, 21, 17 and 20.
25:42
Case Aiken
All of those hit.
25:44
Addy
So three D, four plus three, right?
25:47
Jmike
Yep.
25:47
Case Aiken
Each of those, yeah.
25:49
Addy
Okay, so it's 10.
25:51
Case Aiken
Okay, well, yeah, that's disappointing.
25:56
Ben
Hit a lot of people, but didn't do a lot of damage.
25:58
Addy
I was flailing around in the air. Usually a lot of power comes off your back foot. I did not have an opportunity to do so since I was in the middle of the air.
26:08
Ben
I'm proud that you know that power comes off the back foot.
26:12
Addy
I really am out of game.
26:14
Case Aiken
I'm just going to note that 10 on a, like, the power of his attacks is that he can hit five times. So 10 times five is 50. Like, that's a great. That's fantastic for where the level you guys are at.
26:27
Addy
Yes. It just feels like I slapped people five times.
26:31
Case Aiken
The funny thing about slapping them hard enough is that you knock out three of them and then so I sort of envisioned this as like, as you plummet down to the ground, you. You like Smack two. Or like, you do, like smack two and kick also with. With all your full momentum when you land in the ground, and then you, like, rise up and do two more hits on, like, the stormtrooper directly in front of you, who seems to be a bit more thickly built and is not knocked out by the two strikes that against him.
26:59
Jmike
You just made him angry.
27:00
Ben
Oh, tickle fight.
27:03
Addy
You know, you guys could have been a whole lot nicer about this. You could have ended up going down to the little brothel establishment. But now it's come to a slightly more violent confrontation.
27:13
Ben
Slightly more violent. What was gonna happen at the brothel?
27:17
Case Aiken
You said. Guys, we should stay focused. Everyone, guns up. Let's back up, my friends.
27:21
Addy
Pew pew.
27:22
Case Aiken
Suppressing fire. So you guys are all sort of like moving back. Finn has his shield up, and he's actively deflecting glass. In fact, while he's deflecting blast, he's doing pretty impressive job of actually deflecting them back at the troopers. You've never seen anyone pull off shit like that.
27:46
Ben
Yeah, he's way better than Fosho. Washo is already my new best friend.
27:50
Jmike
The absolute worst with his jubilee lightning.
27:56
Case Aiken
Anyway, so you guys are making your retreat.
27:58
Ben
I do 12 points of damage, by.
28:00
Case Aiken
The way, since you guys are hitting some of these frontline guys. They go down, yes?
28:05
Ben
Yeah, they do.
28:06
Jmike
At least you hit something this time.
28:07
Ben
They go down like they're at the brothel.
28:11
Case Aiken
On that note, you guys can tell and like, Arvis is face to face contact on this one. There are two tiers of armor levels on these stormtroopers. It looks like there's one that's sort of like the more basic, just like plain white. And then ones that have, like, sort of like a thicker build to their armor. It looks like it's probably would soak up some more damage than what your blasts are doing.
28:32
Ben
That's not good.
28:33
Jmike
Oh, well then.
28:34
Ben
All right, keep retreating. Kill the little ones.
28:37
Jmike
Run faster. Bye, Arvis.
28:40
Case Aiken
Nice knowing you, Jim. Phallus and Stimbolt have proceeded back while. While Finn has had his shield up and has been was sort of like deflecting blast initially. Finn, however, needs to you guys to stand in position so he can back up a bit, particularly because he has to be the one to open the door. So as he does that, he waves with his lance. And you think it's weird. Like, it's like, that's a weird choice for how he would shoot, but instead he, rather than firing off a shot, he seems to use it almost like a wand to sort of Summon the Force and he yanks like a fishing lore Arvis back towards you guys.
29:24
Jmike
No,.
29:28
Case Aiken
Successfully. And so, like, through this, like, crowd of stormtroopers, Arvis completely unprepared. His arms, like, dangling as he, like, flies backwards.
29:38
Addy
I'll get you, fatty. Later.
29:40
Case Aiken
Is being pulled through the crowd, barreling through people. Don't you know, Arvis, you're coming back and he snags you away. And you knock over three guys as you're flying through. And there's like a clear line now parted through this crowd of stormtroopers as you're pulled back to him and you land on your ass on the ground, just sitting there, completely dumbfounded at all of this that's happened. Because you have never experienced anything like the Force.
30:11
Addy
I thought the metal bird was a fun ride. How much to go on that ride again?
30:19
Case Aiken
Oh, yeah, don't you know, I just. I'm so happy that we have you with the group, my friend. Okay.
30:26
Ben
You did this. You did this.
30:29
Case Aiken
Did I?
30:31
Addy
Yep.
30:31
Case Aiken
Which part now?
30:33
Ben
All of it.
30:34
Jmike
I did.
30:34
Case Aiken
I did. This is my fault.
30:36
Ben
Nobody to blame but yourself.
30:37
Case Aiken
Case these moments of realization.
30:40
Addy
There's still that. There's still that one big feller I punched and he didn't react. I. I still feel like we have unfinished business with that Watt feller. Yeah, these are a lot of wide fellers. How. How else would you describe them?
31:00
Ben
Stormtroopers.
31:02
Addy
Oh, that's. Well, nobody said stormtroopers until this very moment, okay? Unless you guys are listening to some God right now who is narrating all these events right now. I didn't hear anybody call these. These particular group of individuals.
31:18
Ben
I'm not arguing with you about this. It's not a debate. I believe you. I understand. Very good role playing. I'm proud of you, Arvis.
31:28
Case Aiken
Arvis, my friend, don't, you know, we need you to. Well, or rather, we need me to continue blocking shots, so. And he flicks to you the signet ring of house Tiank.
31:46
Ben
Oh, no.
31:46
Case Aiken
It's like, I need you to get to the door and I need you to put that up against the console, the pad, the big square thingy. And please, is it the square thingy.
31:57
Addy
That has the lights on it?
32:00
Case Aiken
Yes, the only square thingy on the side. So hold it up to it and that will open the door and call to me. Because I can't be focused on the door right now. I need to be focused on the shots. So I need you to go, man.
32:13
Addy
Okay.
32:14
Case Aiken
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
32:18
Jmike
I know.
32:19
Ben
Go.
32:21
Addy
Go.
32:22
Ben
Stop them forever.
32:23
Addy
Go.
32:25
Case Aiken
You run to the door. Shots whizzing past you. And you. You slam the signet ring against the console on the side, and the communication between the circuitry inside of it and the. The door opens up, and the tower of House Tiank is available to you to enter.
32:44
Addy
Go, go, go.
32:45
Ben
Everybody in?
32:47
Case Aiken
Yeah. Look alive, my friends. Let's get inside. Hey, Finn, why don't you get over here, since your buddy Arvis is not so. Not so polite as to say anything. Finn, the door's open. Come on.
32:57
Addy
I'm just in shock in this place here. This is a. This is quite a fancy place. I still can't get over the fact that I just came in like a wrecking ball.
33:05
Case Aiken
Finn takes back the ring and taps the inside for the door to shut. He seems to make some sort of gesture, and you hear a clicking sound like the door is locked off completely. And you hear shots that clearly sound like they're hitting a force field at the door. Like you think it's being completely encased in a protective barrier.
33:30
Ben
Okay, so that'll hold him for a little bit.
33:32
Case Aiken
Finn goes. Yeah, we need to get the communication system online. Force shields are back up. But this. This is definitely drained. We're gonna need to get everything working again. And fortunately, I think you folks know a bit more about technology than I do.
33:49
Ben
This is your moment, J. Mike.
33:51
Jmike
This is my moment. This is my moment. I won't let you guys down. Hopefully, maybe.
34:01
Case Aiken
You hear the scratching sound of a radio, and the voice of Pigo comes over Slippery Jim's com. Okay, thanks. Thank you, Pico. We got ships incoming. We need to make sure. I don't know how long these screens are going to last against TIE Fighter shots. Oh, probably not long. So, Finn, what do we need to do to. To get everything going? Well, you betcha.
34:36
Jmike
I.
34:36
Case Aiken
Let's. Let's go find the communications tower, and then let's assess the damage. You all follow Finn up to the communications room. And you can see that the structure is not fully powered. It seems to have diverted it towards shields. Well, then, this begins a skill challenge, as you guys need to get the A signal out to the other Killian Rangers. There is obvious physical damage, and there are archaic computers that need reprogramming. So can I have everyone roll initiative, please?
35:25
Addy
2, 6, 24.
35:28
Ben
Show off.
35:30
Case Aiken
All right, Stembolt, you're up. You are in a giant Ancient ship that has a communications array that is underpowered at the moment. And the ship is physically damaged and the repairs.
35:43
Jmike
Are there any open screens around anywhere?
35:48
Case Aiken
Yeah, there are terminals. You can potentially look at it and see if you can figure out a diagnostics that would better point you to what needs to be used to get everything going again. Diplomacy.
36:00
Jmike
Don't use my computer needs. They're. Okay, let's see what's going on here. 21.
36:09
Case Aiken
That is a success. So you type into the screen and it brings up. It's like a very old style screen. Like it seems to be like some sort of like scan line kind of thing. Oh, that's awesome. And it is displaying information where you're. You're seeing sort of like where there's power outages and you're able to convey that information to everyone else.
36:33
Ben
It's.
36:34
Case Aiken
It also will need to be rebooted once it is fully charged.
36:39
Jmike
All right, guys, we got power outages everywhere. This is really bad. We're gonna have to hurry.
36:44
Ben
I'm on it.
36:46
Case Aiken
All right, Phalleas, you're up.
36:50
Ben
19. I'm gonna use repair. Let's start fixing some of the.
36:55
Case Aiken
The stuff to try, you know, some of the stuff so that we can.
36:57
Ben
Get the power routed.
36:58
Jmike
Correct.
36:59
Case Aiken
Okay. Yeah, that's a success. You are able to identify like where there's like either signal loss or where there's actual power loss going into this whole thing. The array itself, like the antenna is not physically connected to it. Like the structure is much more complicated than that. So you're able to sort of like link all the right cables and you're like, oh, that thing. I know how to like fix that. And you're like, you like take off like a scrap of like your shirt, like press two wires together that have been severed and you know all kinds of like the jury rigging that you're used to doing.
37:31
Ben
Right? That's what I do.
37:34
Case Aiken
Arvis, you're up.
37:38
Addy
So, so usually when I need help of the technical variety, the first thing that I've been asked is if my computer or device is on. Can I could just go and make sure all these devices are owned by.
37:53
Case Aiken
Yes, yes.
37:54
Ben
You may need to gather information.
37:58
Addy
Just turn them on if they aren't.
38:00
Ben
To skill check, dude.
38:02
Addy
Oh, well, maybe the reverse of disabled device or repair.
38:07
Case Aiken
Yeah, we'll do reverse of disabled device here.
38:11
Ben
Oh, I need you to anti disable this.
38:16
Case Aiken
I got a don that is a failure.
38:18
Ben
Oh, you're the worst.
38:20
Case Aiken
I love you.
38:21
Addy
I know.
38:26
Case Aiken
Shots ring out and you can you hear the force screen that's protecting the structure struggle under the. The barrage from nearby TIE fighters. You hear their engines roar past, and actually from certain windows, you're able to see them like, whiz by. Arvis, this is a particularly terrifying sight because they're moving so fast and are just so impressive, both for their speed and the fact that they're just so outside of what you're used to. But we're back up to the top, and it's Stembalt's turn.
38:59
Jmike
Has Faelis repaired everything or has he got everything straight?
39:02
Case Aiken
So far he has been successfully repairing things.
39:06
Jmike
Can I gather information to see what else needs to be done?
39:10
Case Aiken
Yeah, I'm gonna allow it in this way right now. Oh, 13, that is a failure. You're sort of asking questions of everyone and trying to identify any sort of spot that could still be worked on, but you're actually just kind of distracting to people like Finn, who, like, has a vague idea of what needs to be done, even though he doesn't know technology as well. You're like, actually get kind of getting in the way.
39:41
Jmike
Hey, Arvis, you stay in your corner over there, buddy.
39:43
Ben
Okay? Hold on.
39:46
Addy
I'm trying to plug in this wire here. Seems like it'll turn it on.
39:51
Case Aiken
Phallus, you're up.
39:52
Ben
Okay, I'm going to do a spot check to try and figure out what. What I need to do to.
39:59
Case Aiken
Yeah, absolutely. To do to get this to work right.
40:03
Addy
Hey, does this fork go in this thing here in these holes in the wall?
40:07
Jmike
You try that out if you want. Go ahead.
40:09
Addy
You go, buddy.
40:10
Ben
No, no. Sit down and you stop.
40:16
Case Aiken
23. That is a success. More importantly than just seeing, like, what's sort of missing. You also spot that there are defense systems. They probably don't even know how they work, but there are functioning defense systems for the ship.
40:35
Ben
Sweet Sally Mae.
40:39
Jmike
What'd you find, buddy?
40:40
Ben
Defense systems. Oh, my God.
40:43
Case Aiken
Oh, you used to kidding me. We've been able to fight back this whole time.
40:47
Ben
Oh, my God.
40:48
Jmike
Arvis, get on a gun.
40:50
Addy
You guys got guns? We got guns.
40:54
Case Aiken
Okide, he is correct. These are. These are guns. Let me see if I can get these online. And slippery Gem starts working at it. And you guys can see out the. The portholes of the ship out into the surrounding town, and actually from the ground of nearby structures, weapon systems or come online. But these, like I said, these are weapon systems that have been forgotten at this point. That these are from hundreds of years ago. People probably set them up as, like, defensive structures. You can. You can clearly see that the way that the town is built. They've actually taken things that used to be, like, affixed to the ship and sort of, like, shifted it down to the ground for use.
41:38
Case Aiken
So things that are like, now like a blacksmith shop or like a bakery, like, all of a sudden, like a gun sort of like that. They were sort of, like, built on as, like, a platform, like, rises up and sort of crushes these buildings or they, like, fall off to the ground, some of which fall on stormtroopers.
41:53
Addy
Oh, there goes Nellie's dairy shop. She's not gonna be happy.
41:57
Ben
No, she's gonna be alive. Let's go.
42:00
Case Aiken
And they. They start aiming out. So now you actually have guns. They don't auto fire, but you are able to aim them and sort of fire off.
42:09
Ben
Champion.
42:09
Case Aiken
So that was a success. Valleys.
42:11
Ben
Whoo.
42:12
Addy
All right, I'm gonna. I'm gonna try to move silently since I seem to be annoying most of these. These. These con people.
42:19
Jmike
Ooh.
42:22
Addy
22.
42:23
Case Aiken
Yeah, that's a success. You see everyone, like, trying to figure out how to use, like, all these different gun turrets. And there's a. There's more controls for it than there are, like, spots for people to really look at, or rather people to look at it. And so while Slippery Jim had already yelled at you sort of know not to, like, walk directly in front of him. You walk over to a different one and you start fidgeting with it and like a. Like a crosshairs pops up and you're able to sort of like, track things and give me a ranged attack roll, just for shits and giggles.
42:57
Addy
17.
42:57
Jmike
He's not going to miss.
43:01
Case Aiken
A 17 is actually a miss.
43:02
Ben
Oh, my God.
43:04
Case Aiken
Well, they're whizzing by like he's.
43:06
Addy
I'm just getting used to these controls here. This is totally different than the. Than the other metal bird you guys. The susan bird you got guys got on there.
43:14
Ben
Satan. Like shooting womp rats back home.
43:16
Addy
I don't know what womp rats are, however.
43:20
Case Aiken
Arvis. So you're now actually at a gun and you're able to, like, start firing off shots on each of the. On each of these turns. All right, so we're back at the top of the order. Stem bolts.
43:30
Ben
Do something creative.
43:31
Case Aiken
J. Mike.
43:32
Jmike
Who's fired up that shot? Who shot that? Hey.
43:37
Addy
Oh, I'm still moving silently.
43:39
Ben
Let the lasers out.
43:41
Jmike
Who? Who? Who? Do we have all the citizens back online yet? Many of them are, but we need the communications tower. Yeah.
43:56
Case Aiken
Or has failures working on that.
44:00
Jmike
Are they back on? Can I use computer use to Figure out if everything's back on.
44:02
Ben
You already use computer.
44:04
Jmike
Use what?
44:04
Case Aiken
Can't do it twice. You can't use it twice in a row. So, yeah, you can try to run the reboot right now to see if. Now that everything's hooked up properly.
44:17
Jmike
Hey, buddy, did you fix it?
44:19
Ben
Just about. Maybe give it a shot.
44:22
Jmike
Hold on to your butts.
44:23
Case Aiken
Yeah, you can see if. When you do it, if you reload the drivers, if it's all good.
44:27
Jmike
23.
44:28
Case Aiken
That is a success. Yeah, like the. Like the. The system goes from clearly what's.
44:36
Addy
Like a.
44:36
Case Aiken
Like a safe mode into it's like full operation. And you're able to sort of manipulate the gooey. And Finn's like, yes, it's up and running.
44:47
Addy
Fire.
44:48
Case Aiken
And Skype comes on. And then.
44:54
Jmike
Spice. Skype.
44:58
Case Aiken
Several sexbots. Try messaging initially.
45:01
Jmike
What is going on here?
45:04
Addy
Got a lot of old spam,.
45:08
Jmike
But.
45:08
Case Aiken
Finn, type some information, and you can see that there. It's like one of those like. Like, wavy line effects. Like, there's no video communication, but it's like it's you. You hear a voice coming through. It's like, yes, this is Monty of the Killian Rangers. Monty, it's Finn. We are at House Tiank. We are under attack from the stars. What? Yes. Don't you know? We beings have come from. From above with advanced technology. We are under attack.
45:47
Ben
They say that they're waging war on us.
45:50
Addy
What do you say? It's a war on the worlds?
45:52
Ben
No, I would say it's more of a Star Wars.
45:55
Addy
Star War. This is a. Are we gonna call this a Star War?
45:59
Ben
Yes.
45:59
Jmike
Oh, my God.
46:01
Addy
Don't you know?
46:03
Ben
Don't you know?
46:05
Case Aiken
You betcha will be there.
46:07
Ben
Yay.
46:08
Case Aiken
Monty out. And Finn goes like, yes.
46:13
Jmike
We.
46:13
Case Aiken
We succeeded. Thank you all. Thank the force.
46:15
Ben
Keep shooting. Don't get cocky, kid.
46:17
Case Aiken
Arvis, let's get some shots off. Just since you're.
46:21
Addy
There's a notification that just came up on my screen from a pantor and prince who says he has a lot of money for me. Do you guys have one of these Social Security numbers or account numbers I can send him? Because it's seems like this. He seems like a nice feller.
46:34
Ben
Yeah. We'll talk about it after we survive this. Should I just.
46:37
Addy
Minimum. How do. How do you move this message out of the way?
46:40
Case Aiken
There's a little line icon. If you hit it will go into the. Into the taskbar.
46:45
Addy
Thank you.
46:45
Jmike
Hey, Arvis.
46:46
Case Aiken
Shh.
46:47
Jmike
I'll send you. I'll send you faces later.
46:49
Ben
Hey, hey, I heard that.
46:51
Jmike
I'll message it to you later.
46:52
Addy
Don't worry about it.
46:53
Jmike
No.
46:54
Addy
All right, so I'll go ahead and take another shot. Now that I got that notification out of the way. It was kind of obtrusive and annoying.
47:00
Ben
Speaking of which, what are you gonna do?
47:01
Addy
I'm taking another shot and I got a 24 that's a hit.
47:04
Case Aiken
You knock out one of the three TIE fighters that are whizzing around.
47:09
Ben
I just love that he keeps saying whizzing.
47:12
Case Aiken
Arvest you shot down one of the three TIE fighters that were whizzing around you guys. However, signal having gotten through you all see the four screen around you first flash yellow and then turn red. And you hear the generators of the tower being burned out as the screen goes down. And you hear a very loud boom sound. Then nearby, on the ground below, another boom occurs. In this case, it is a vault of red that strikes the ground and demolishes several of the buildings of the town. And Slippery Jim goes. I think that's the Star Destroyer.
48:05
Ben
Yep.
48:06
Jmike
Oh, we gotta go. And we gotta go now.
48:09
Case Aiken
So I think we said something about there being a power source down there. I think they probably got shorted out, but we might be able to actually take the base part of it and install it into the Susan.
48:18
Ben
Alright, let's go.
48:20
Jmike
Move quick.
48:21
Ben
Grab what you can. Pick up anything that might look useful.
48:23
Case Aiken
You guys start rushing down and you hear blaster fire pick up from ground level into the actual walls of the ship. And now it's not being deflected by any kind of force field. An area that you hadn't really noticed of the wall before has started to glow red and it is beginning to melt away as a group of stormtroopers rush through and surround you guys in steps, a woman with red hair. She seems to be in command of everyone. And she goes. Well, I'm only going to ask once. I'm looking for a Kel Dor who wields the Force. Can you take me to him?
49:09
Addy
I, I, I, I don't think so. But you guys know anything about. I still don't know what a Keldor is. Can you guys help with this thing?
49:17
Case Aiken
Miss, we don't know anything of what you're talking about. We are just random travelers who crashed here by accident. Oh, this is how you're going to play it, huh? Well, like I said, I was only going to ask once, but I have some help for if you need to be asked again. And into the room walk two crimson clad armored warriors. And the first one goes, well, we have a small matter to deal with first. And the second one steps forward and goes,.
49:56
Ben
Shit.
49:57
Case Aiken
And with that, we end the session.
49:58
Ben
Damn it.
49:59
Addy
I knew I was gonna come back and fight me.
50:03
Jmike
You did. You made it angry.
50:05
Addy
Aren't you the one who's been bragging that you killed all those dead guys?
50:08
Ben
Just about to roll Diplomacy. We were gonna talk our way out of that until they showed up. You wanted to see how it played out. It played out bad.
50:19
Addy
Well, unfortunately, Stim Bolton Philius decided to stay quiet. So we'll find out what happens next time in the Scruffy Nerf Herders. Of course you can catch up on all of our adventures. In fact, you can check out the last time we confronted these Crimson Guards that Ben or Failius likes to brag that he defeated single handedly. But if you listen carefully, that's a lot of revisionist history because there was a lot of help. Other people got stabbed while he was sure did fancy twirling around whatever he had. So there were people helping him with the force as well, pinning them into place.
50:54
Jmike
Do we remember that though? I don't remember the people with the Force. Kind of all hazy now.
50:59
Addy
No, there was the one that. Twilight Sparkles, sir. Twilight Sparkles.
51:05
Ben
Everybody's favorite Brony or.
51:07
Addy
Or Void Elf. Anyway, sorry, we're confusing our lore. Anyway, you can check out that episode, among others. You can check out that episode along with others of the Scruffy Channel Nerf Herders, just by going to our website, certainpov.com and of course, if you'd like to be a part of what we do, if you enjoy this enough that you would like to actually kind of contribute so that we can do more of these types of shows, that we can do other role playing games, we can do other podcasts, we can do live streams, we can do all sorts of other content, but we can't really do that until, you know, we kind of, you know, we'd like to be able to do this as something that's more than just something we do on the side.
51:47
Addy
The only way we can do that though is if you decide to help be a part of this through Patreon. You can find out about our Patreon just by going to our website, certainpov.com you can check out that along with all of our social media and all of our other podcasts again, certainpov.com and until next week, stay Scruffy my Nerf Herders.
52:10
Ben
My absolute favorite thing about that read that wrap up that you just did. Did was it you started out as Arvis and it just slowly worked its way out.
52:25
Addy
I mean, to be fair, I kind of want to just be Arvis all the time now, of course, just at work and everything.