Session 21 - No Country for Scruffy Men
The Scruffy Nerfherders need a hyperdrive to get off a planet stuck back in time. To get it they'll need to rescue a princess from a dark foe they don't truly understand...yet.
Scruffy Nerfherders Full Episode Originally aired: March 15, 2018
Podcast Edited by Addy Thomas
Music: Purple Planet Music
Music: www.purple-planet.com
Certain Point Of View is a podcast network brining you all sorts of nerdy goodness! From Star Wars role playing, to Disney day dreaming, to video game love, we've got the show for you! Learn more on our website: https://www.certainpov.com
Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/CertainPOVMedia
Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/wcHHer4
⏱️ YouTube Chapters
00:00 – Intro
00:08 – Introductions & Fantasy Movie League Update
04:42 – Recap of the Previous Session
09:30 – Lord Rook's Plea: Rescue Lady Lian
20:30 – Training Montage & New Weapons
24:42 – Contact with the Rest of the Crew
26:33 – Journey Across the Kingdoms
34:29 – Campfire Stories & The Dark Force Revealed
43:07 – Denied Passage Through House Fardor
47:55 – Ambush! Foe Is Dragged Underground
50:33 – Into the Caves
53:42 – Cliffhanger: The Voice Behind the Whispers
Transcription
00:08
Hey, Nerf Herders. I'm Adi Thomas.
00:10
I am Ben Milton.
00:11
I am Corey Putnam.
00:12
I am J. Mike Folson. And I am Case Aiken.
00:14
Thanks for joining us for another episode of A Scruffy Nerf Herders, a Star Wars D20 story. You can find all of our podcasts on our website, certainpow.com there. Be sure to check out our fantasy Movie League. You can join in on the Fantasy Movie League, Ben. Are we gonna do prizes for that at some point?
00:31
Eventually, yeah, Absolutely. We're still working out the kinks and figuring out how that's all gonna work.
00:36
Okay, cool. Yeah, so you can check that out. You pick up. You know who won this week. Well, this week is gonna be like two months later, so. So let's. Let's not give dated information out right now. But I did better than you, so that's probably not gonna be dated information.
00:52
That's gonna be pretty much every week. Let's be honest.
00:55
Either way, you and what you do, you get eight screens that you get to choose to fill. And based on how they do that particular weekend and your totals for your theater, you rank among the other people in the league. We'll come up with prizes eventually, but you can join in on the fun anyway and get bragging rights at least for this moment in time. And you can join by going to our website. Join our league, the Certain Point of View Movie League, and just go to our website, certainpov.com you can check it out. And all of our social media is there so you can have fun. Trash talk us when you undoubtedly outrank us because we've both been. I have not been great.
01:35
Not been good the last.
01:35
I was. I was like at second for a little while. Yeah, I can't. Yeah, I dropped a fourth, but I was. I was really close to first, so I was a little disappointed. I dropped, you know, a couple spots, but yeah, it happens. But you can join in on the fun with us. Trash talk. Have fun. Especially because Ben is. You usually is. Either he's either completely quiet or he is just trash talking like crazy. So you can. You can be a part of how.
02:02
Well my week is going based upon those two things.
02:04
Right? You can join in on the fun. Certainpov.com all right, let's get going with the stuff with the story today. Let's introduce all the characters for our D20 adventure. I am Fosho the Force Adept Keldor. I am a Force Light user. I've got breathing issues. So except for the Force powers, it's basically me.
02:24
I wish you had force powers.
02:25
I know, right? Right.
02:27
You're missing out.
02:28
We got to figure out how to do it. I'd have a change of career at that point, Right?
02:31
Yeah. I am playing a character called Phallus Vash Kill. I am a human, so I look pretty much normal. And I'm a fringer, which means I'm sort of a survivalist. So I live out on the wilds of the edge of the galaxy, living.
02:45
By my wits and skill. So exactly opposite of you. Exactly opposite, yes.
02:51
Yeah. Because you are not an outdoorsman.
02:53
No, not in the least.
02:54
Like I went full on role play for this.
02:56
And if he was living on his wits, God. Ugh.
02:59
Can you imagine the horror? I'd be dead in a week.
03:02
You've got kids.
03:03
Jesus, Corey.
03:06
Yes, I am a Gungan soldier. Pretty much can stay in character because I'm totally clueless about where I am,.
03:12
What I'm doing, and so clueless you forgot your name.
03:15
Yeah. Who flung Dong? I grew up in a little town right next to the Flung Dung Bayou in Manasse Crack Valley and joined the rebellion to be a soldier. And happy to be here.
03:31
Happy to be here. Happy to have you here.
03:35
Happy that you just commit.
03:37
Really is nice.
03:38
Just go for it. Just. Just go with that.
03:40
Oh, gosh.
03:41
Follow that up there.
03:42
J Mike.
03:43
Go ahead.
03:45
Switch the orders of J Mike.
03:48
Every time.
03:51
I just admit a mystery.
03:52
Yeah.
03:58
My name is Stembolt Noor. I am a Zabrak tech specialist. And like they said, my background is shrouded in mystery.
04:05
Your friends call me horny.
04:08
Or that. Or Satan.
04:13
Did we ever get to the bottom of whether or not you're orange or red?
04:17
Doesn't matter, man.
04:18
Orange doesn't matter.
04:20
We're all the same color. But he's turning red now.
04:22
We're all the same color, man.
04:24
And then last but definitely not least, the guy who guides us all on our paths through the galaxy. He binds us together. He is sort of the force that. That brings us all together. He is our dungeon master, the game master case.
04:42
Now, I need you to do not try to roll a D20 for recap, please, guys.
04:48
4. Yeah. 1. Uno.
04:54
18.
04:56
Do we get a roll off for.
04:57
The ones we got two ones.
05:00
Do I get twice?
05:02
We got two roll offs in a row.
05:05
Ben gets the xp.
05:06
I get the XP from both of them.
05:08
Well, you only get one set of xp. Now the question is, who roll off, please? In this case, the worst of the two.
05:15
Can we have them actually do a dance off? No, I feel like J. I think J can. J's got videotape that worst of the.
05:22
Two has to do the recap.
05:25
Did you reroll? Jay?
05:27
What'd you get? What you get?
05:28
Cory? 6:14.
05:33
You paid attention to this last episode just happened.
05:38
Oh, my God. All right. So for the listeners at home, we record usually more than one session at a time. We are recording the second session right now. Corey, we didn't even take a bathroom break. This is all you just happened.
05:54
We ran into these guys on this planet in this village. And were riding these tauntauns where a village gets attacked by a bunch of sucking creatures with claws. And the village people go crazy. And then they follow this guy that looks mysterious. And Fosho and hu. Flung dong gets separated because we hear a child was attacked by this creature. And everyone told us to stay put, but we didn't listen. And I got lost in the grass and yelled out, don't go into the long grass. And then Fosho ended up killing a kid. Sad day.
06:38
He had more. I am trying to clear my reputation before you establish me.
06:43
You may rebut afterwards.
06:45
Thank you.
06:46
Okay, so, Corey, keep going.
06:47
Keep going.
06:48
So.
06:48
So Addie killed a child.
06:49
So Addie killed a child. And then I killed three of these creatures. And later on, you know, I used blasters, but I wasn't supposed to. And then Tom Cruise came in on his motorcycle.
07:03
Not Tom Cruise.
07:05
It was vag filler on his tauntaun. And did this surfing move and did a flying jump with his double blades. Thrusted this creature as he likes to do to creatures.
07:18
It was very Dothraki of him.
07:20
It was very Dothraki. And then we got saved the day.
07:29
And it just happened.
07:32
Then we got yelled at and thanked.
07:35
At the same time, which is not unusual for us.
07:38
Not unusual. And I called dibs on Griff's cousin's daughter.
07:46
All true.
07:46
Yes. I did call dibs. He said if. If you touch their wood chipper. Wood chipper. Don't you know.
07:54
Yeah.
07:55
And I whispered dibs. And then we're on this ship, like building.
08:04
Yeah. To his cousin.
08:05
To his cousin. And he had the ring that opened the door.
08:12
Right.
08:13
And went into the door and were like, hey, maybe we can get a hyperspace trans functioner.
08:21
No trans functioner.
08:23
Close.
08:25
This is falling apart quickly.
08:27
You're so close to the end.
08:29
This is the part that's the most recent. And he's having trouble with it.
08:33
That's the best.
08:34
That's the one thing that's funny. About it.
08:35
To be fair, not a lot happened at this point, so it's really just a.
08:40
We got to announce our name.
08:43
To his cousin.
08:44
To his cousin.
08:45
Hurdles.
08:45
The scruffy Nerf hurdles.
08:48
Yep. Okay, so that's pretty good, Addie. Do you have rebuttals?
08:54
I didn't kill that kid. He was already dead.
08:59
You didn't save him.
09:00
No, he wasn't already dead. He was mostly. He was gonna be dead. There was no way to save him. But he wasn't.
09:06
I didn't kill him, though. I killed the creature. I helped kill the creature that was killing him.
09:13
This is true. It wasn't like an intentional mercy killing. This was just a mercy killing. Slowly turning into. Slowly turning into a Three Stooges podcast.
09:28
It's gotta happen before it's over, guys.
09:30
All right, so you have all been introduced just now to Lord Rook of House Tiank.
09:41
He.
09:44
Asks who you guys are, and you reveal that you are, in fact, the scruffy Nerf herders. To which he's like, well, not all of you even have hair, so you.
09:53
Can't be that strange.
09:53
How strange?
09:53
That mean?
09:54
And also, what's a Nerf?
09:55
It's kind of like a cow.
09:59
Oh, yeah. That explains a lot.
10:02
Yep.
10:04
Well, it is good that you found allies. Griff. I know it was a hard life being a Ranger. I could not do it the way you have. But you come at a good time in one sense and a terrible in another. My daughter Lian has been kidnapped. Oh, Wait, what? Yes.
10:40
There goes your chance.
10:41
Are they. Khriff, may I speak with you in private? And Rook takes Griff, and they leave for a moment. Fen's like, oh, Lianne is. She's one of the most sought after women of this fiefdom.
11:04
How big is this fiefdom?
11:07
The territory's two days ride in any direction before you get to the lands of House Wallon or House Faldor.
11:20
How many houses are there?
11:23
Well, let's see. There's about a dozen.
11:28
Who's most likely to have taken her?
11:30
He says the Renegades. Listen, Griff doesn't want to talk much about it, but when he was young,.
11:40
He.
11:43
Encountered something that was strong in the Force, killed his master, has been stealing those whose minds have wandered, those whose hearts have not remained pure. They've been disappearing to the south. But if they are resorting to kidnapping and not simply stealing goods and attacking the people on the outskirts, then this is a shift in their paradigm. Something's changed.
12:36
Well, that's not good. Are the Renegades a part of any particular house? Or are they just sort of cast offs from all the different houses?
12:45
They're anyone who have gone astray. Unfortunately, many are young adepts who were not able to follow the path. Listen, it is not. It is not widely spoken of, but there are those who are strong in the Force who find the power alluring and compel them to try to take instead of give. And we have known about them for a long time. We have encountered people like that for a long time.
13:22
But.
13:25
When Griff was young, someone became known to us who was from out there. He was not one of our people, but he was so strong, it took the combined effort of all the Killian Rangers to ward him off. And we knew he hadn't died, but we never actually knew for sure that. We never knew for sure how strong he was. We just knew that people would slip away. Totally.
13:59
Stoke.
13:59
Join his ranks. Voldemort. Sorry. I have no idea who these people.
14:05
Used to,.
14:10
But he. Sorry, Chris. Coming back. We shouldn't be talking about this. Griffin. Rook return.
14:19
That's what I said. No, I won't do that.
14:28
All right, listen up, nerf herders.
14:30
Yeah.
14:31
My cousin is willing to provide what resources he can to you to aid whatever we can. I don't know if we can actually help you get off this rock, but we're a little focused right now getting back to Lady Lian.
14:49
Do you have a picture of this lady?
14:52
Just for our reference.
14:53
Do we gotta know what you were looking for? Yes, actually. If you walk this way, we can show you to the sacred halls. And he leads you into a chamber where there is what to your eyes is very clearly a holo emitter. And he presses a button and a hologram of the girl shows up.
15:19
Help me, Obi Wan.
15:21
She's quite beautiful. Her hair is not in buns.
15:27
That's disappointing.
15:31
Every noble of the House Tionk has their impression on the day of adulthood recorded here. This is from her ceremony only two years ago. We can't allow anything bad to befall her. And I have sworn to my cousin, both as a Ranger and as a member of House Tionk, that I will retrieve her. And if you would help us,.
16:05
We.
16:06
Will do whatever we can to pay off that debt. You betcha.
16:09
Oh, damn. There's some badonkadonk in that.
16:16
Oh, you and your weird space words. Listen, as much as we appreciate the use of the blasters, well, those things are rare and probably will be sought after. You should try to hold back on using them until the last minute. That said, we could probably charge them up here. The Great Pillar is one of the many sources of charging our own blasters. And I'm sure technology must be somewhat similar. Should be able to get a full charge, but you'll want to keep those hidden until the last minute.
17:00
I take it you guys don't have vibroblade weapons here either.
17:03
I'm sorry, what?
17:04
Like my knives?
17:08
Well, there is Our Blacksmith. Hephtussen can provide you with some kind of weapon if you need. I'm sorry, you keep saying this word beforehand. What?
17:17
Vibes?
17:18
You mean like the Force? As a Ranger, you're taught to focus the Force through your weapon and strike with all the power of life itself.
17:29
Sorry, you lost me at focus.
17:33
I can see that. You, my gangly friend, I. You have a calm glow about you that I find soothing.
17:47
No one's ever said that about me before. Question, though.
17:51
I think I speak for all of.
17:53
Us when I say this, but can we see that hologram one more time?
17:59
Oh, sure.
18:00
If this will assist you. And he taps on the console and it shows up again. All right, guys, it's very, like. It's a very, like, stiff pose.
18:09
Yeah, it is.
18:14
Jc, how much?
18:16
That's your fault.
18:18
Nobody to blame on yourself. No one.
18:21
I complain. Entirely my fault. Didn't think about that. It was a very prim and proper pose. It's almost as if these holo emitters are capturing images very inefficiently, and they need to stand still to have their 3D portrait taken. All right, something's standing still.
18:44
All right, sorry.
18:46
Good. Now we know what she looks like. So, guys, we should help. He said that he'll give us what we need.
18:51
All right, what release. Do we have any idea where to start?
18:54
You all?
18:54
None of you are wearing mail or any sort of severely protective gear. The house Blacksmith, Halftussen, is able to provide you with anything that you need. And if you. I see that, Phelius, that you carry some sort of bladed weapon, but the rest of you probably could use something a little more common to.
19:17
What are we looking at? Like, what are we up against here?
19:19
Like, humans, man?
19:22
We're gonna kill a bunch of humans?
19:23
Is that what it is?
19:23
Yeah.
19:24
Not kids.
19:35
But if we do, there will be threats that might be strange to you.
19:43
Okay?
19:45
So go fully armed. Do not. Do not expect to go into this fight automatically the victor.
19:57
Whoa.
19:59
Okay. All right, well, let's. Let's get some. Let's get some gear. Let's gear up and figure out what.
20:04
We're up against here. If you would find some preparation helpful, our master of arms, Jokal Wint, might be able to show you at least enough to be familiar with some of the stranger types of weapons here. Sweet. It wouldn't do for you to try to wield a three bladed scimitar and not know how to properly strike with it.
20:30
Did you say three bladed scimitar?
20:31
Yes, it's a. It's a difficult cutting utensil, but it's quite effective when you slash into someone. J' Kal Wint will familiarize any of you with any weapons that you wish. That we have a half day in his presence should suffice to at least have you swing it like you appear to know what you're doing. So you guys are all equipped up by Hefthosen, the house blacksmith, and Jakal Wint, as the master of arms, gives you some training with that. So this one's gonna take a montage.
21:06
It's gonna take a montage.
21:08
And you see foe swinging around this great hammer and being taught how to shift its weight. Now, I mean, this isn't a staff. The weight is concentrated towards one end. So this is going to take a certain amount of discipline, knowing that the momentum is going to carry you and so that for repeated strikes, how to guide it so it doesn't knock you off balance.
21:29
Do we have a cutaway where one of the swings takes me out of frame?
21:33
Oh, yeah, absolutely. You take swing after swing and at first you're not used to this great weight being at extent of your reach. But with a little bit and over a period of time slowly getting better and a little bit better. Eventually you are clearly crushing these like test dummies with very little effort.
21:55
Hoof.
21:56
You're a natural shot already. So you take up the crossbow and you're able to fire off a shot. But the montage issue is you trying to reload it. Like you're pulling back on the wire and every now and then like snapping and like hitting your fingers. And it hurts so bad. Or you accidentally fire a shot right to the ground, right between your toes, just barely missing it. But you're slowly getting better at loading and like getting off the shot and then loading and getting off the shot.
22:23
I wanna be the baby.
22:27
And so pretty soon you look like a natural, like cocking this device Stimbolt. They give you two short swords and you're like, all right, I know how to use these. They're only a little bit bigger than daggers that you've used before. And while you try to use it, the master at arms easily disarms you with just a swing of his sword. You pick him up again with almost no effort. They fall right out of your hand. But then we cut over a little bit later and like, you're easily deflecting shots of his and like spinning the blade around, going from an uphand to underhand grasp. Holding your own. Meanwhile, you holding the swords or are.
23:14
You in your own?
23:19
He's still looking at the hologram.
23:22
When I cut the failures, we cut to a bullseye and an arrow flies and hits the side of the sign, but nowhere inside the circle. And we see Faily is frustrated at this. We keep cutting back to him and he's getting better. And every time we cut back to him, a shot's getting a little bit closer in and a little bit closer in until finally he gets one in the center and then fires an arrow and it goes right through the arrow that's already in there.
23:48
Simply the best.
23:56
But so for the stats of this one, as I said, it's a 1D12 for the great hammer plus your strength mod. For the crossbow, it is a 1D4 for a one handed crossbow plus your dex stimbolt. For the shortswords, they are each one D6 plus your strength or dex, whichever is better and failures, it is a 1D6 plus your dex score. All right, Grif saddles up. And when he gets on foe, you feel through the force that he has. He is so closely linked to his tauntaun. And from his tauntaun he links the minds of the other ones and they move as a sort of herd and they all get into position for you to mount up. Phelias.
24:42
Yep.
24:43
In your pack of gear that you had brought with you as a communicator. And you start to hear a crackling sound. And on the other through this like crackly haze, you hear, oh, short tongue. Short tongue.
24:59
Hey, Slippery Jim.
25:01
Hi.
25:03
What's up, my friend? How are you?
25:05
All right, we got through.
25:07
You got through where?
25:10
Falto was able to rig up a, antenna that he was. We were able to affix to a high altitude.
25:18
Through to us.
25:19
Yeah, we got through okay. Yeah. What's, what's going on?
25:25
We found a small town and they actually have remnants of an old ship. We're gonna be, we're working to try and see if we can get some parts to help fix the hyperdrive and get us out of here.
25:41
Old ship.
25:42
An old ship. Like maybe a thousand years old pieces of it. Not even intact anymore.
25:49
You think that it's okay, that's.
25:53
Here's the thing, Slippery Jim. There's only humans on this planet and they're not friendly to outsiders. You need to keep low and stay out of sight. Keep the Alderani safe.
26:03
Wait, all the other guys did.
26:05
What other guys?
26:07
You're.
26:08
You're horny and you're.
26:10
No, not yet. Not yet. But it's. It's an uneasy truce at the moment.
26:15
You said doing quite well. I see them.
26:17
Well, we're surviving. Hopefully we'll have more information for you. But listen, you're breaking up. I'm having a hard time hearing you. We gotta go. We'll. We'll be in touch soon.
26:28
Going through a tunnel.
26:30
Finn, Nerfherders.
26:33
Yep.
26:33
Saddle up.
26:34
All right, boys.
26:35
Ride em cowboy.
26:36
Grif leads the way and you guys head due south. Grif is very quiet in the front, but Finn is excited to be on the move and he's. Oh yeah, this is exciting. Little scared, I gonna admit.
26:58
Yeah, you probably should be.
27:02
Do you know what's it coming to? Yeah.
27:05
No. Where are we headed?
27:07
Well, first we are gonna have to travel through the lands of House Fardor. Hopefully they are receptive.
27:17
Are they? Usually not.
27:19
Well, they're hard to deal with sometimes. It depends on if they've been feuding with House Weyland or some. Or anything recently. If it's been. If it's been bad, then they might be unwilling to have a conversation.
27:36
How are they gonna feel about four outsiders traveling through their lands?
27:41
They're not gonna love it. But if Griff is able to talk his way, then well, you know, we might do well.
27:49
Hey, questions for you. Are you? Well, I know you are. Do the knights, the Killian Knights, do they get free passage throughout all? Are they protectors of all of the Houses?
28:00
Yes, we. Yes, we are currently on the lands of House Tuanc, which Griff happens to be a member of. But anyone who is a force sensitive person is trained as an adept as a youth. And eventually two are selected to serve under masters, while a Grandmaster oversees us all. But we are the last five. And as such the protectors of all the realms.
28:38
What happened to the rest?
28:42
Well,.
28:45
There are many who serve, but only five may bear our lances, since there are only five that remain.
28:54
Lances?
28:55
Yes. And he shows the blaster with the bayonet on it.
28:59
And you can't make more?
29:01
No, sorry. We've been able to figure out how to had a jury rig additional shield gauntlets and his left hand he like, clutches for a second and a force shield appears around it, but. And he releases his hand and it goes down. But the blaster remains a mystery.
29:20
So didn't you when you were in the Gungan military, didn't they have. I mean, hoof toe and a whistle? Sorry. I sometimes have those moments. Did you guys have shields like that and like, similar tech to those shield gauntlets?
29:49
Yes, we did. I didn't know what they were at the time, but I do now.
29:53
I guess that's why you did last in that military.
29:57
Not a fighter. Yeah,.
30:00
He's not very good as a lover.
30:09
Interesting. I wonder if we can help him.
30:10
I wonder if we can.
30:11
Have you ever. Hey, have you seen anything. Javelin gun things? Anybody seen anything like that in their travels? Have I seen anything like that in my travels around the fringe?
30:21
You would not have seen anything quite the same. But the. The guns are not. I mean, for one thing, they're thousands of years old, and they've been maintained and augmented. And the casing clearly is a later construction. But you think that these are, like I said, like sports rifles. They're not like rapid fire blasters. The casing is very ornate and constructed, and the blade built into it. So you think the blade is a more recent thing, forged on this land, but the actual blaster part of it is not particularly sophisticated. It's just outside of their. Well, it's not even a technology issue so much as a components issue. The shields are able to make off of equipment that were clearly on the ships that they came on, but the blasters, they just don't have anything.
31:17
Any more parts.
31:18
Yeah.
31:18
Okay. All right, well, let's get to this. This first place that we got to get through and see what happens. Unless anybody else has any other questions. Any questions? You got any questions?
31:31
No further questions, your honor.
31:32
Okay, so I have plenty of time for. For any questions. It's a two day march even on the tauntaunts.
31:40
All right, well, two days. I'm already chafing.
31:44
Dang it.
31:47
Like lotion or something.
31:50
Used all that this morning.
31:57
You just can't stop turning on that hologram, can't you?
32:00
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Computer use.
32:04
Computer use. Oh, no. Never seen him again.
32:15
Oof.
32:15
You're.
32:17
You're.
32:19
Are all your kind so funny. Are all your kinds so funny? That's. That's really good.
32:24
Yeah, we are.
32:29
You should be like a traveling performer or something.
32:32
I tried.
32:35
Fail and eject.
32:36
They say you try fail. And I just went into the military, and I just went into the Military.
32:41
How did you try. Were you some sort of joke spinner or perhaps a song? A singer?
32:49
Yeah.
32:50
Oh, wow. Would you care to share with us a song? Yeah.
32:57
Would you?
32:57
I'm about to never do that again. Actually, it's. It's a very emotional time period of my life.
33:05
I. I think we might be going.
33:09
To. To move past it finally. To accept who you are, to really embrace the song.
33:14
Don't encourage him.
33:16
Just don't.
33:17
You know, I kind of emotionally.
33:19
All right.
33:19
Let's put my whole life into this. And. And nobody liked me. It's just, you know, so.
33:27
I remember you used to sing this song when were on the. You remember? Little towers on Yavin. We were by yourself looking out on the horizon. You talked about how you'd walk like a thousand miles.
33:42
Perhaps the song will ease Griff's heart. Perhaps if you share a song. Good.
33:49
Time for that.
33:52
We got two days time for that, man.
33:54
You also sang about how you would feel good.
34:05
Another time. All right.
34:06
Well, perhaps another time we'll. So time passes, it's another time.
34:15
Remember what he's saying about how you can't stop the feeling.
34:18
Yeah. Don't stop believing all of that.
34:20
Don't stop believing all of that.
34:23
You gonna.
34:24
No, actually.
34:25
You gonna. All right.
34:29
You guys travel for a ways. It starts to get dark. Griff makes a fire.
34:34
That was so disappointing.
34:43
I have to say. You're coming here, it changes a lot of things for us. We always heard stories about being born in the stars, but most of us have always seen these fields as our homes. Seeing technology, people unlike anything we've ever seen before. It's threatening in a lot of ways. And I want to thank you for coming. A long time ago, I saw something that was. It scarred me. But seeing that there are good souls beyond these lands as well as darker.
35:47
Ones,.
35:49
Makes me feel like my mission has a greater purpose. Don't you know? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So tell me. Failures. You're. You're human?
36:16
Yep.
36:17
Really?
36:17
All my life.
36:20
Most of it.
36:22
But the rest of you are not. What. What is it like out there?
36:31
Well, it's a damn mess, to be honest with you. A lot of conflict, a lot of fighting, but pockets of hope. Pockets of resistance. Pockets of people pulling together. Fighting for the common good.
36:49
Planets taken over by damn bloody apes.
36:52
I'm sorry, what are apes?
36:54
Grapes.
36:56
Sorry, what are grapes?
36:59
We can go down this hole all by now. You have a choice.
37:02
Either you sing. I'm sorry. The only thing that can unsettled this mystery is through song.
37:08
Just a gun. Gun boy.
37:14
What? Lonely?
37:15
Oh, yeah, Whatever. Told you I failed.
37:19
It makes sense now. Yeah, I get why he never made.
37:22
It, but his voice is so melodic. It's like the waves crashing.
37:26
Crashing? Or are you saying that first it draws you in and then it sucks you out of to the ocean?
37:34
No, my friend. I was. Sorry, I might not be the master of words that you all are. I just was trying to pay you a compliment.
37:40
But.
37:43
So would you say that the worlds out there are all different? Or are there many humans out there? Are there many desert clones? Sorry. You said Zabrak was your species. And Gungan. And I'm sorry, what was yours?
37:56
Keldor.
37:57
Keldor. I'm sorry that I've touched your mind without your consent before. But to see me, too. To see your culture and to see the winds that you see the Force as. It's fascinating to see out there, even if it's just a thin glimpse. But are your peoples populous? Are they numerous? You say that there's a lot of fighting, and I'm sorry to hear that even when you've conquered the sky itself, that there's still conflict and battle.
38:42
Well,.
38:44
I think.
38:45
And you can speak to this because you have more of an insight to it than anybody else here. But there's good and bad. One rises, another falls, Another rises to match it. That kind of thing.
38:59
Oh, my God.
38:59
Are you Snoke?
39:00
I might be.
39:01
No, literally. Guys, I might be.
39:09
Darkness.
39:10
Yes.
39:11
My apprentice hasn't had to face it so much, but I've seen Darkness.
39:17
Tell us a little bit about it, because I have a feeling it might be tied to what we're up against. What did you face?
39:24
Once, a creature came from the south.
39:27
What kind of creature?
39:29
Never clearly saw him.
39:31
Human?
39:34
Different?
39:36
Humanoid?
39:37
Similar. Yes. The beasts that surrounded him followed his every word, and people were drawn to him. He had begun to assemble an army, and were forced to unite as many as we could. But those of weak will still faltered before him. Finally. Finally, I went with my master. And I witnessed my master be stripped of his very being by this creature. But he gave his life saving me and destroying the fortification that were in. But we've known, We've felt this being is still out there. Just weaker, hiding in the shadows. We are traveling towards his lands.
40:48
Is this what took the girl?
40:51
Must be. It must be. The night draws close. I need to rest. The Force is both my strength, but it also is a burden. And I might need a little shut eye. If you will be so kind. As to keep watch.
41:14
Yep.
41:15
Who's keeping watch?
41:16
I got first watch.
41:17
Night passes uneventfully.
41:19
Yay.
41:20
And morning comes and you resume your travels. Do you guys have anything you want to bring up with either Finn or Griff as you travel?
41:26
I want to ask.
41:28
I want to ask some more about this guy thing that he faced. How did your master defeat him?
41:36
He reached out with the Force and with his will, he cracked the columns of the great fortress that were in and collapsed the ceiling upon us. But he ejected me and I was able to flee.
41:56
So he crushed. Just crushed everything inside?
41:59
Yes. And you think this thing survived? I think so. Many of his servants died and his power was definitely weakened. He may have survived in some limited form, but he's certainly out there as the day comes to almost a close. You see, you guys have been traveling through farmlands for the most part. And at a certain point, midday, it stopped being so much well kept farmland. It became much more overgrown. The population probably doesn't come out to this edge so much. And you think that you've come to a point that would sort of be the line between kingdoms? Like where the outermost area that's being kept and maintained and bumping up against the frontier of someone else's kingdom. So you think that you've traveled into someone else's land?
43:07
I think we traveled into someone else's land, guys.
43:10
And it is corroborated by. A group of tauntaun riding armed men, leading two banthas carrying supplies, who make their way. They have banners that they display. And Griff stops you on the patrols of House Fardor.
43:41
Let.
43:41
Let me do the talking. Everyone put up your hoods. Make sure they can't make much of you. It goes. Goes forth.
43:52
Ho.
43:54
I am Griff Tionk Killian. Ranger. Ranger. You have no business here. State why you've come. I'm on a mission. And I would prefer, if I may, to request access to your lands directly. If you would be so kind as to escort me to a scrying tower. That is your right. I see your lance marking you as a ranger.
44:37
You?
44:41
Yes. We will escort you there. Who are your companions? This is my apprentice and four of my adepts. They are all being taught the ways of the Force. They look a little large to be adepts. That one's particularly tall. Well, we're not paid to think. We'll take you to the scrying tower. And this patrol leads you? It's about an hour's walk to what, to your eyes, clearly is like an old communications array that's been embedded in the ground. Griff taps on it with his ring and a door opens. And he walks in alone and it lights up. You guys see that? It's being used for communications. Give me. Give me diplomacy. Checks to see if they pick up on anything while they talk to you or while they're around you. If you're able to stay standoffish enough for 2936. Damn, guys.
46:06
This is Teen Diplomacy over here.
46:08
Seven.
46:09
Seven.
46:09
Yeah.
46:11
Jesus Christ.
46:13
Very diplomatic. Sorry, fatty.
46:18
Can I give him some of my points?
46:20
A couple of the patrols start to, like, start looking a little too closely at our two non human friends. But Felius and Finn are both able to sort of deflect the attention away. Ultimately, Griff exits the tower looking kind of downtrodden.
46:40
The.
46:43
Lord Fardor will not allow us to go much further. Thank you, gentlemen.
46:51
I don't understand. Like, aren't you the Killian Knights? But the Killian Knights have free range and are protectors of all these lands.
46:59
We Rangers still need permission, and I do not feel that this is a mission where we can share too much. So Lord Faridor has decided not to trust us without question. And so we will have to go around. Thank you, men.
47:27
Yeah. How far is that going to take us? Out of our way.
47:29
Okay.
47:32
Might be some time.
47:33
Well, why don't we just sneak our way through?
47:37
We could have that discussion when we are not surrounded by the patrols of Lord Fardor.
47:44
All right, timing is everything.
47:46
Diplomacy.
47:55
The patrols begin to lead you north.
47:58
Kill these guys.
47:59
Can I have a reflex save from Phelius, Hoof and Stimbolt, please?
48:13
Oh, right.
48:15
Seven, six, 17.
48:21
All right.
48:22
As you guys are being led north from underneath you, one of those mole wolves erupts from the ground and leaps past you and dives into the ground just before you. And another one following leaps up and grabs foe and takes him into the.
48:52
Earth.
48:55
Directly before you. The ground begins to cave in as they do so, and Stimbolt is able to leap away. Several of the guards are sucked into the earth, and as are Phelias and Hoof. You guys begin sinking into this collapsing sand. Griff and Finn grab you guys, but you guys are embedded deep in the sand. Like they're able to grab you before you're completely sunk in. But several of the house Fardor patrols are completely sucked in. You can see their hands still sticking out, but they have been covered in dirt and they. They're not able to breathe. And before you're able to dig them out, They've suffocated and died. But Griffin Finn pulleas and hoof out and stumbled. Is is fine.
49:59
What just happened?
50:00
It went into the earth. The hella.
50:04
Why would they take him?
50:07
He took him.
50:09
Who took him?
50:11
But you can sense him here.
50:13
She's here.
50:15
That being took. Listen, those creatures can't take him far that way. There must be a cavern below. How do we get there? Look, we think.
50:28
Man, He's my best friend.
50:33
I know which way they're headed. Listen, follow me with most of those. I love him. Grif leads you guys southeast to a grove. It's this overgrown forested area. And he starts hacking through all this brush and woods. You guys clearly see the etched like the cut in the sides of trees and vines. You see very clearly what the mark of his blade looks like when he slashes through things. He's escorting you guys deeper and deeper. And it's getting dark in this overgrowth. And he activates his shielded hand to light the way. Follow me. And he proceeds deeper into this grove where there's this group of overturned trees that shining his light on it, you see, is this narrow passageway into the earth. Give me spot checks, please. Foe, you are not there.
52:05
You're not there.
52:07
16, 16, 14. Illuminated by a shield. You see on. On both the trees and also the rocks around here. Slash marks that look very similar to what his bayonet did to the trees when you were first entering. I hope not to go this way. And he goes into the darkness. Do you follow him?
52:36
Yes. Blaster's ready, boys.
52:40
You guys climb down into the dark. There's just wild noises everywhere as you get in there and you go down for what feels like an infinite amount of time until finally you come to a point where instead of slipping down, it actually becomes level. You hear this deep roaring sound. And vaguely illuminated by, you see this massive bipedal creature approach you. And with that we're going to cut over to foe, who has been dragged painfully through the dirt. Finally, you, after what seems like hours have been brought to this large chamber and are tossed to the ground where this being sits before you. You have darkvision, right?
53:42
Yes, I do. I have low light vision.
53:44
Low light vision. You look up and this being in robes sits there stroking this crystalline sword. And his head rises and he goes for. Sorry, you've come. Are you the one who's been speaking to me? And his finger rises up and illuminates and you see this long necked, bulbous headed being. It's a species that you've seen in past, but not like this. He seems emaciated and his eyes sunken and he smiles and we end session TT.
54:44
Okay, I'm pretty excited. Finally, I'm hearing this thing that's been whispering to me for this entire series. So we'll find out more about this. What's going to happen to our Scruffy Nerfherders, especially now that they're split up. How are they going to handle being split up? How are they going to be able to reunite? We'll find out in our next session of the Scruffy Nerf Herders. But be sure to go to our website, certainpov.com, check out all our social media. All of that is there. You can follow us and you can be a part of this podcast through Patreon and through the Fantasy Movie League and just rate reviewing and subscribing our podcast and sharing them with friends. There's all sorts of stuff that's available on our website, certainpov.com and until next time, stay scruffy, my Nerf herders cpov certainpov.com.