Session 25 - This Guy's a Fink
The nerfherders just lost one of their companions and things are only getting more dangerous. Follow our silly adventurers in their escape through the badlands.
Scruffy Nerfherders Full Episode
Originally aired: May 10, 2018
Podcast Edited by Addy Thomas
Music: Purple Planet Music
Music: www.purple-planet.com
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⏱️ YouTube Chapters
00:10 Welcome and Intros
02:48 Recap Roll
03:14 Phosho Recaps
05:48 Griff’s Death
07:19 Repairing the Speeder
10:26 Making a Run for It
11:44 Dismantling the Revenant
15:27 Lady Lien Boards the Speeder
17:09 Griff Returns
20:52 Escaping the Hangar
23:06 Ramming the Revenants
25:38 Breaking Out of the Ship
28:05 The Warnock Chase
30:58 Fire Extinguisher Bomb
32:06 Navigating the Badlands
34:36 The Mole Wolves
37:27 Turning the Warnocks
38:44 Lady Lien and Phosho
42:11 Lady Lien’s Ambitions
45:48 Lady Lien and Hoof
46:32 Phosho Recruits Stembolt
48:54 Approaching House Fardor
50:02 The Ambush
51:32 Outro
Transcription
00:10
Hey, Nerf Herders. I'm Adi Thomas.
00:11
I am Ben Milton. I'm J. Mike Folson.
00:13
I'm Corey Putnam.
00:15
And I'm Case Aiken.
00:15
Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Scruffy Nerf Herders, a Star Wars D20 story. We'll continue with our adventure because we had quite a. Well, pretty epic finish to our last episode, so we're gonna get to it as soon as possible. We're. But I just want to remind you can check out all of our podcasts on our website, certainpov.com again, certainpov.com let's introduce the characters in this D20 adventure. I, Adi Thomas. And Fosho, the Force adept, who is right now dealing with some temptations from the dark side. And I'll say. Yeah, I'll say. I mean, I've pretty much given into the dark side at this point, but let's see how far I'm willing to go with this. We know how far you're willing to go.
00:54
Ask Slippery Gym. Whoa.
00:58
On that note, speaking of getting into the dark side, I am playing a.
01:07
Human fringer by the name of Phallus Vaz Killer. And I'm kind of like a human survivalist and sort of the tech specialist.
01:14
No, you're not a tech specialist. Calm that down.
01:20
I repair a lot of stuff. I repair more than you do.
01:23
First of all.
01:23
First of all, you repair a droid yet? You're using too many big words.
01:26
He's repaired a ship.
01:27
Yeah.
01:28
This is more important. He repaired an engine for an entire episode?
01:32
Yes. For an entire episode. He was working on an engine.
01:36
He was working on it. We don't know if he actually repaired it or not. He actually took a nap in an empty office. Contractor. Is that right?
01:51
He was actually fired, but due to a parent payroll glitch. I just kept paying him and just.
01:55
No one told him weeks ago. He just keeps showing up.
01:58
I'm gonna burn this off with that.
02:01
This is my stimulus. And then we've got J. Mike.
02:04
I am J. Mike. I am a Zabrak tech specialist named Stenbolt.
02:08
Tenure.
02:09
Yeah. I fix a droid, and I learned that I have special abilities.
02:12
Now you make it sound like it's superpowers. Let's calm down. Close enough. Okay, you're like an electrician right now.
02:19
It's like your special abilities are like split splicing, soldering.
02:26
And then we've got Corey over here. I am hu.
02:28
Flung dong a Gungan soldier. Barely made it through basic. Barely making it through this episode and. Yeah.
02:39
And then to continue to set us down this path, whether it's dark or light or somewhere in between, we have got our dungeon Master case.
02:48
Well, in role playing games, as in life, it's really just shades of gray, wouldn't you say? How many shades would you say? 50? Somewhere between 1 and 20. And on that note, could I have everyone roll a D20 for me? Hell, that was one.
03:01
Caution.
03:02
Wet floor. My goodness.
03:03
17.
03:05
I got a 13. I got a 5.
03:08
I got an 8.
03:09
Sounds like 17.
03:11
Yeah.
03:11
Addy gets the recap bonus, which is good since it was very focused on you.
03:14
Yeah, I know. It kind of makes sense that I'm doing the recap. Cause right now we have. We have rescued the princess, but we are trying. Well, we've been fighting the revenant, a monster who. Griff, one of our. One of the rangers, his former master, resurrected into sort of a Frankenstein's monster who was pretty tough to fight. And while were engaged in this fight, I was tempted by Klebold, my dark side master, to kill one of my companions that we've. That we've adventured, that, you know, we've been going on these adventures with. And we had some flashbacks, some key moments where we've connected with each other. But I decided not to follow through with what Klebold wanted. I decided to hold my own on that point at least. Still give in.
04:03
Do you care to sort of recount what you learned in each of those flashbacks?
04:07
Well, I learned that J. Mike has an air of mystery to hide a lot of nothing right now. Hopefully there's something there.
04:17
He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in nothing.
04:24
And then apparently I flashback to. To my first moments with failures killer as there was a lot of slow mo. It felt like a shampoo ad.
04:39
I was walking on the beach in soft focus. Yep, it was golden hour.
04:45
Yeah, the lighting was just perfect and everything. But it was sort of an awkward start.
04:51
An awkward relationship.
04:52
Yeah, very awkward relationship. And one where nobody's really been in the same place at any point in this relationship. So, you know, I think it's just fated to never. Never really happen. But we. We saw the. The awkward beginnings to that. And then we also saw my good buddy Hoof and I, how were kind of screwed over by Admiral or Commander Cotswold.
05:13
Commander Cotswoldswallow. Alliterative.
05:15
Yeah, that's right. Commander. Yeah, Commander Cotswallow. When were evacuating Dantooine, were abandoned by him while were during the evacuation, we just barely survived and got out of there and got to Yavin. But we all saw these various moments where I didn't want to turn on any of my friends. But I did turn one of the Rangers that has been helping us. And I did choose Griff to be killed by the Revenant. And that's where we left off.
05:48
Learn this for sure. That there is no advancement without consequences. That there is no proceeding without giving something up. That you have made your decision, but you have still betrayed many of your core talents. That you are ready to move on, but not fully able to give of yourself. But see this. See the power of the dark side and understand why you must give in to it. And with that, the Revenant deactivates its shield and the body of Griff falls to the floor. This twisted, gnarled corpse, given shape now cut open at multiple points, smashed at spots and burned from blaster fire. Still stands there. And its shields are ignited. It stands off against you all. Finn still screaming? No. Fires off two shots at it. But it deflects them with its shield.
07:17
Of course, of course.
07:19
Failius, you've been working on the speeder so hard. Can I get another repair check for you? Yes, you may.
07:29
16.
07:30
Hold on, hold on. I gotta see what my modifier is. 31.
07:39
Dam. That.
07:57
Behold the power of the dark side.
08:01
You do drink. Went through his nose. For those of you listening. Oh, it hurts. I think it went into his eyes, too. Oh, God.
08:12
That is how you take down a man. With a word this time.
08:18
I thought words could. Oh, my God. Oh.
08:22
Okay.
08:24
Oh, I can't see. Drugs are bad. Okay, I'm gonna be in the engine room.
08:31
Well, that's good, because the very large engine of the speeder hums to life at your repair efforts. Finn.
08:41
Oh, my God.
08:42
Filled with anger. It's like.
08:44
Go.
08:46
All of you.
08:46
Go. Go.
08:47
Take the lady. Take the lady. Go. And he. I forgot she was with us. When is she attacking?
08:54
She didn't do nothing. Leave the lady.
08:57
Leave the lady.
08:57
She didn't do nothing.
08:58
You came to rescue her. Princess Leia was more progressive. These people are from a different time.
09:18
Continue.
09:20
Ma', am, may I help you into the speeder?
09:26
Man. Ladies first.
09:29
Why, thank you. Finally, someone understands. Oh, that's right. Civility. Don't you know? Me to know. You should know. Oh, yeah.
09:40
Oh, yeah.
09:41
You've got quite the tongue there.
09:46
Oh. Focus. We gotta get outta here.
09:48
Oh, it's still too much.
09:49
Make those eyes roll.
09:50
I. I've Heard the legend of. Of a race called Gungans. And the. The saying goes, once you go Gungan, you never stop Tongan.
09:59
That's exactly what they say.
10:03
Doo.
10:08
Wasn't that the name of your second single? Yeah. Gungan.
10:14
Nothing But Tongue album. Yes, it's very true.
10:20
Hold my ears.
10:21
Would you follow you?
10:23
Hold my ears. Grab me a towel.
10:26
So what do you guys do? Like, so Finn is attacking this creature, and Felius has gotten the machine up and running. Phelis has got the machine up and running. So we're loading the machine with people and UN people.
10:39
How long before that droid gets there? Right about a quarter of the way there. Doing it by roar.
10:49
It's halfway. It's halfway to the Revenant. But if you guys are all rushing towards the speeder, you're gonna have to run past some of these droids. So who is running towards the speeder? Phelius is already there. We've already established that part. Falius is there.
11:05
Yeah. Why would you run at this point?
11:07
I'm trying to get out of here.
11:08
I don't want to stay.
11:09
I was the one who yelled run first. Phelius's battle cry. Run.
11:16
Flee, you fools.
11:19
Now, to be fair, you did decide to do a suicide mission against a Imperial Guard. Yeah.
11:26
No. You've earned some credibility. It's fine. Thank you.
11:28
Yeah, I know when to hold. Yeah. Freaky Frankenstein thing. That's when I. That's where I draw the line. Once he knocked me on my ass, I was like, well, these rolls aren't gonna work. Let's get the hell out of here.
11:40
That hurt a little bit.
11:44
I want to shoot at Frankenstein's feet. Okay, so you're gonna keep fighting? Yeah, I'm gonna shoot his feet.
11:48
You're gonna shoot his feet?
11:49
I'm hoping that if I blow a leg off, he's not still gonna, like, walk backwards. Yeah, he's got six feet.
11:56
Human.
11:57
He's a human Frankenstein. Like, his body is gnarled and weird shape. I thought he had multiple legs. At one point, he was on all fours. He was knocked down, and he was. He was Exorcist style. Like, arch back, like, walking around.
12:14
He's still human because he's. He's Griff's master. The power of Christ compels you. I need an old priest and a young priest for the power of Obi Wan.
12:24
All right.
12:24
Hoof on a large staircase. Hoof.
12:29
Give me some rolls. Giving you some rolls. See them? Tootsie roll.
12:34
Oh, what? 19.
12:36
19.
12:37
Wait, it's eight plus eight, right?
12:39
Or plus nine.
12:39
Oh, plus nine. 19.
12:41
19. Okay. Both of those hit.
12:43
Boom. Boom.
12:43
Tell me. His feet come off. Yeah. You kneecap him and both legs, just like everything below the knee, just explodes off of him. And the revenant falls down onto his stumps. And for the briefest moment, it looks like he is shocked. Oh, shocker. Like, taking in the injury and the change in his mobility. Everyone else. Who else is running?
13:20
So I'm still near him?
13:21
Yes.
13:22
I just want to take like one more. Like take a swing. Like, just swing my staff at him. So two.
13:28
Sure. You have an advantage because of his incapacitated state. Leave your staff and him in the ground and let's get out of here.
13:37
But it's not a spear.
13:38
Oh, Never mind.
13:39
Yeah. 26.
13:42
Okay. Yeah. You smack the crap out of him.
13:46
7.
13:49
So. So you bop him. And then you spin around and you bop him. Bop again. Yes.
13:55
Yep. Smack.
13:56
Smack.
13:57
Bop it. Twist it.
13:58
Bop it.
14:00
Bop it. Twist it.
14:01
Pull it. Bop it. And the force of your blow, like.
14:04
This episode brought to you by. Bop it.
14:07
Pushes him down onto his stomach or knocks him down onto his stomach. It's still sort of trying to right itself. But you've knocked it down onto the ground and it's prone. Clearly, because its lace has been shot off, it's not going to be following you as fast anyway. Stimbal, what are you doing?
14:30
Kind of take a shot at.
14:31
I can blow an arm off. It's not a pinata. Guys, what the hell? Wait.
14:37
There's not going to be candy.
14:38
You may try.
14:40
I was told there would be candy in here. Please.
14:44
Pre. Sure.
14:49
Don't use all your abilities to use.
14:51
In the second page. I know.
14:55
Okay. I'm so proud of you. We gotta screw this up first.
15:00
Wait. I hope you get killed. I hope he's screwed. I hope you roll ones and it eats you. Shut up. You're gonna get at 13 and 8. Both of those mess. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.
15:16
Do not pass. Do not collect 200 suck.
15:19
Please tell me at Eat Him, Case. I'm way across the room, far away. You.
15:25
The. The droid is now a third of the way there.
15:27
Yeah, I'm just like, buying time for the droid craziness. Destroy. Destroy. All right. The Lady Lien gets into the speeder with Phelias. What's up, babe? So you're the here to rescue me?
15:49
Yep.
15:49
That's what I do. I see. Well, thank you very much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Don't you Know. Yeah, I know. Buckle in nice and tight. Buckle. Yeah. Seatbelt. Do we not have seat belts in these things? Oh, you mean these belts that come out. Oh, seat belt. Okay, I see. All right. Wow, you're awesome. All right, come on, let's. I am awesome. Hey, is she in? Yes. Is she in, like, safely enough? Okay. Do I have room to ram this speeder into the Revenant? You would have to. You'd have to drive through several people, but also the droids. And the droids, despite the fact that they're moving very slowly, seem to be, like, very heavy metal. And you think they might damage the speeder if you ram them. All right, well, so much for that idea.
16:44
That was gonna be pretty bitchin'. I might do it anyway. You might. But you'd want to pick up some speed before you tried to, like, zoom around the room, do a couple laps, dash it. Yeah. If you want to do that, you may.
16:57
Yep.
16:57
All right. Give me a pilot check. Oh, boss. Oh, I think this might work out.
17:05
Okay.
17:06
Yeah, this is good.
17:08
Yeah.
17:09
19. All right, you fire up the speeder, and you start to circle around, so as you're coming around, people are starting to rush. Meanwhile, the droids that were active, except for the good one that Stimbolt reprogrammed.
17:29
Kill.
17:30
Kill. Start to gather in on everyone else, including the corpse of GRIF. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. Foshot. These words just echo in your mind. See the power of the dark side as these droids pick up the corpse of Griff. And one sort of produces a mechanism from its torso that staples shut the gaping wound in his chest, and the energy takes over his body, and he jerks back and jerks a little bit and stands upright, but also has this weird puppety posture to. To him. You did this to us. No, no, no. And he jerkily turns aside, and you guys all hear Finn fucking screaming at this shit. But the rest of you guys, please give me dexterity. Pardon me. Give me reflex saves.
18:44
Reflex.
18:45
Reflex. Oh, not failures, though. 24. 23.
18:52
Whoa. 18. Noob.
18:54
All of you guys escape the clutches of these robots as they try to grab at you. Oh, thank God. And you're all able to get away. The revenant, the original one, is crawling his way towards Stimbolt. He's lifted himself up, and it's just on his arms, and he's dragging, and his legs, the stumps are kind of kicking the ground, but it's this weird swimming kind of motion that he's making with them. It's like, I can't feel my legs.
19:34
You got space legs.
19:49
Staying in no matter what.
19:51
I will fight you if you try to cut it that for sure, Scott. Jesus. Oh, it's great.
19:58
Thank you. Finn, just taken aback by the sight of what has happened to his master. Both dead and now his memory being sullied there, just is in complete shock, and he's gone from this sort of aggressive attack posture to this defensive. And he starts backing away towards where the speeder was. But the speeder's now taken off and is circling around, putting him sort of in the line of where Stimbolt is and to a lesser extent, where Hoof is. Although foe is still up close to the two. Yeah. Revenants, for lack of a better.
20:45
Yeah.
20:45
Description.
20:48
So, wait, whose turn is it?
20:52
Well, foe, you're up.
20:53
Oh, perfect. I'm gonna use. Let's just say a force jump to kind of get out of the way.
21:00
Okay.
21:00
Yeah, yeah. Okay. And, well, I also want to yell, does anybody have explosives on them to seal our. Let me check. Seal our exit. Do I have a fire extinguisher? Yes, you do. Oh, no. Because he used it. No, we got one. We got one, though. We got one.
21:17
Oh, yeah, they found one.
21:19
Okay, cool. So you have, like, ancient 1000s. Is it as big as one of these droids? Water. Oh, great. Three drops of water.
21:36
Yeah. If Hoof wants to try to make a demolitions roll to sort of prep something, he's welcome to.
21:42
Yeah, And I'm thinking of just a force jump to get to these guys.
21:46
Why are you noticing me spinning around the room?
21:48
Well, one, it'll definitely clear out of your way, but also to join those guys, since they're all clustered together. Cause right now, Hoof, Stimbolt, and Finn are all together.
21:59
Yes.
22:00
And of course, the princess and. And Vash Killer over here in the speeder. You boys like Mexico? Drake? There it is.
22:19
All right, Hoof, give me a demolitions roll.
22:21
Demolitions.
22:22
So, technically, I rolled while you were talking. Does that count as my roll?
22:25
Sure.
22:25
What is your role? Maybe I should roll again, because I don't think gets a good roll.
22:30
You got plus seven. 17?
22:34
Yeah. All right, you're able to ready what you think will be a functional explosion. Oh, jeez. With that fire extinguisher, I got a functional explosion, yo. You're not at the exit, so you're not ready to use it yet, but you've got it ready. All right. Phus Vag killer. Yep. You are circling around, but you are ready to do anything with that momentum. What do you wish to do? Is there a hole in, like, word that I can drive the.
23:05
Speeder.
23:06
The speeder through and hit the original and they just like, ram the original revan and just like, demolish it. You mean avoiding the robots by the hole? Huh? You mean like a hole in the crowd? Yes. Yeah. Is there? Yes. Yeah. Okay. You can do. It's sort of like a power slide. So give me a pilot check. Okay. Also got another 19. Valleus vag killer. You successfully drift the speeder through the crowd at sort of like this sliding angle. You know, this ain't no 10 second race.
23:40
Drink. All right. With the diretto.
23:43
It's just all movies now. Appropriate nerd reference.
23:48
Sure. Fuck it.
23:49
Moving on.
23:51
Seems appropriate.
23:52
They made a lot of movies. All right, so you have successfully steered through the crowd. Can I just give me like a melee attack roll just to. But the weapon you're using is the speeder itself. Okay. 1822. Yeah. You fucking slam into these two, both of them with the speeder. What? Now that you've hit them, you can either propel them or ride with them into some direction. You could. Or you could stop and try to shoot them off you like a cue ball going into it. Yeah, well, if I'm sliding into, like, I guess like, I'm whipping around into them. Yeah. I'm gonna try and like, whip them around it. So I would knock them into, like, the closest wall. So we not only do the damage of hitting them with the speeder, but then hopefully finish them off with a.
24:48
Blow with the wall.
24:49
Okay, so you do. So, yeah, you slam into the mid like you, like, break, for lack of a better term. And it. As you hit them. So you knock them with full force, but you stop your motion so they. They take all the momentum and they fly into a wall and the ground shakes more so than it should for the impact that occurs just there. Tag, motherfuckers. And fo sho. You hear a voice. Go. Now. Make this escape look good. For sure. Yeah, I've done all the work, so go ahead.
25:35
Your.
25:36
Your turn.
25:36
Oh, all the work. Yes. Yes.
25:38
I didn't kill anybody. Finn is. Finn's running towards the speeder. What do you guys do? Running towards the speeder.
25:47
I'm running towards the speeder.
25:49
All right, you guys get on the speeder. There is a small opening that you think if you fired off some shots at, would go from being like little pinholes of light to being big enough that you could drive the speeder through. So can I get some attack rolls from people. Please. Probably the two that were firing blasters recently. Probably not me, right? Correct. Cuz you're piloting. That's right. Fauchell was trying to beat shit with a stick. 26 And 16. At 19 and 20. Oh.
26:21
All right.
26:22
All right. Big rollers. Give me some damage rolls please. Come on. Whales for all of them. Times 2. Circumference of a circle.
26:34
Shut up.
26:35
It's like Beautiful Mind watching J Mike try to calculate this. I got 9, 11. 9 11. And you got 9. Okay. All right. Your shots like slam into the wall and the area where it was clearly some rust and erosion had corroded. Small pinholes of light coming in now has turned into a full on just gap in the side of the ship. Parmig Falius, you think you can pilot it through? Okay, give me a pilot check please. Hold on to your butts. Thirteen. All right. You successfully pull through the hole. There's a little bit of scraping on the side as you go through, but it's fine. The damage is cosmetic. And you find yourself in this sort of arid wasteland with the greens of the more habitable space before you.
27:36
Quick question. How does Stibwolt react to leaving behind the droid he's so lovingly converted?
27:42
A single tear comes down my face.
27:45
No.
27:47
Wilson.
27:49
I was kind of hoping you would have named it Wilson. I'm sorry.
28:05
Above you hear the piercing noise of. As the warnocks take flight from the ship that you're fleeing from, these massive bat like creatures, the size of people, large enough for people to ride, are flying out in pursuit of you all. And this begins a skill challenge. We're going to keep the same initiative order. As you guys are trying to escape Stimbolt, they are upon you. What can you do to try to get away from these things as you are making your way through these badlands?
28:54
Try handle Animal Force Friendship. Guys, no. Swim. Jmox. Swim. Diplomacy. Diplomacy. You seem like a nice bird. It's a nice bird doing like in.
29:16
A wasteland like this. Can I fire off some shots to keep him off? Sure. We'll call it a spot check if you want to like fire shots at them identifying like their the weak spots on them. 12. Unfortunately your shots miss and they are closing in on you guys. You suck fo show. You're up next.
29:57
Do I need to do a spot check if I want to look for some sort of object that I can use move object to throw at? No.
30:04
There's plenty of large bits of debris and in fact, Huflungdong still has his demolitions that he prepared before.
30:10
Ooh. Okay. Yeah, let's go for one of those charges.
30:13
Sure.
30:13
Are there two warnocks we're dealing with?
30:15
No, there's a flock.
30:19
Do you know exactly how many?
30:21
You'd have to do a spot check.
30:22
I'm go for the middle one.
30:23
Okay.
30:26
And move object with one of the charges.
30:28
Sure.
30:30
Oh, dear God. You killed us all, haven't you?
30:34
Episode one all over again. Tune in next week when we reroll new characters.
30:39
Thank God I have a little. This helps a little bit. My modifier is plus seven. We have a nine, guys.
30:47
Well, we lived. And you're trying to use the demolitions.
30:50
Yeah.
30:52
So you try to reach out to the force and the force said no,.
30:58
Not to do.
31:02
And fling the demolitions. And as you sort of seize them with your will, it falters, but seems to continue on and you find your hands following it more almost locked behind it as opposed to guiding it. And it flies off and explodes in the sort of middle cluster of it all. And there is a very loud, very deafening explosion that goes off. It seems that this is some sort of really weird fire extinguisher that killed fires by causing gaps in the atmosphere. So the mynocks that were right there lose any sort of support from the atmosphere to fly, and a small group of them like plummet to the ground.
32:00
All right. All right. Do we have more of these fire extinguishers, guys? Poof.
32:06
You're up. So there's still half a flock. There's still a partial flock coming after you guys. Okay. And we're in an open field still. You're in badland. So it's. It's. It's craggy mountains. Let's try faster. Trude, faster.
32:25
Please try. Objects in mirror appear bigger than they seem.
32:31
Yes, quite. No one likes desperation. Guys. Please try faster. Can I use maybe computer use to try to rig this thing to go faster? Dude, I rolled a 32. I think I got the engine working pretty well.
32:50
Apparently everyone's doubting your ability right now.
32:54
It's more of a steering thing than a speed thing. A steering thing you're using computer used to buff up its proximity sensors to figure out what the best path is.
33:08
Exactly.
33:08
Because my computer use is good. Alright, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna use computer use to see if there's something that I can do. I'm gonna pray to almighty Dungeon Master this works out.
33:22
Come on.
33:22
Plot armor.
33:25
19.
33:27
God damn it. Yes. You get the navigational computers up and running. And so instead of just driving blind, now there's actually sort of a. Like a R.A. that's picking up. Here's what the shape of the terrain around you is so that you're not at risk turning into a dead end or anything like that. So Falius, not only was that useful for you, just sort of generally, it also gives you advantage on any piloting checks you're going to be doing.
33:53
Thank you.
33:53
All right, Falius, you're up. All right, I'm up. I'm going to pilot. That's a way to safety. Yep.
34:00
Because he got a few maneuvers. Okay.
34:04
How about an eight total?
34:09
Yeah.
34:09
With advantage. Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
34:14
With an advantage.
34:15
It is 18. Yeah, yeah. So the engine rumbles, and it's a really old engine. It is very loud and with a ton of reverb as you fly through this canyon.
34:31
American steel. What are these Americans you guys keep talking about?
34:36
They're on the outer rim. You don't want to know. You. Yeah. You successfully continue flying through, or rather speeding through these badlands, and you think that you're actually starting to lose the Minox, when very clearly ahead of you along the cliff faces, you see the mole wolves popping out from the terrain. The lady Liena's. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's more of those creatures.
35:16
What are you gonna do about. I thought you liked her.
35:23
And Stibelt, you're up.
35:26
Jeez.
35:27
I'll do a gather information check then. Okay, so this is in terms of, like, looking over all of these guys and trying to figure out the best path for Failius to go through.
35:38
It's also called 25 backseat driver skill. Right.
35:42
All right, so you backseat drive failures really? Well, sort of. Give me an example of what you're doing when you're like. So there's a swarm of naked, hairless wolves that dig through the earth and don't exactly have jaws, per se, that are before you. And you are riding backseat with this man, and he is trying to steer his best, but you. You just know a better route than what he's doing.
36:06
That way to the left.
36:08
That's to the right, dummy.
36:10
Which way are we going? That's your right hand, you dumbass. Lay fl. Left leg. Holy crap, you idiots.
36:24
Faux show, you're up next.
36:25
You're kidding me with that, right? I can't believe he did that. That's hilarious. I wish. I wish people could have seen that. That is so funny. Where he's pointing right, yelling, go left. Go left. That was. That was a special moment. You should probably stick to the second page of his kills.
36:48
First of all, sir, I am.
36:56
Kind of feel like I should continue with this whole like, let's help Ben thing and use force inspire. But I'm probably going to do something else. Oh, the warnocks are not close anymore.
37:09
No, they. They've fallen back.
37:11
Okay, so where is the. We're good on that front.
37:13
Maybe you can get the warnocks to eat.
37:15
Well, that's actually what I was kind of thinking. Using an effect mind, you could probably.
37:20
Get them to at least swoop or. Yeah, I. I would allow that basically, like.
37:25
Okay. Oh, good. Yeah.
37:26
Perfect.
37:27
All right. Yeah. Effect mind on the. The warno. Oh, yeah. 26.
37:36
We're good. Oh, yeah, yeah. So these creatures, like swoop in like you thought you had lost them, but instead they kind of have flanked around you, but instead of going for you, they latch on to these naked mole wolves and just start sucking out their very nerves. Like the very electrical impulses surging through their neurons. Pretty dope, man. Pretty dope. That sounds painful. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, like, it's almost planet Earth. It's like a mer. Mercy killing to end someone.
38:13
I wanna watch planet Earth the same. I swear to God.
38:21
It's basically a mercy killing to kill someone who's been attached to. To one of these great giant mynock creatures. Well, now I feel bad for the kid.
38:35
Well, no, well, you're. You don't feel bad for the kid yet. You're the one who calls me out.
38:44
But with that, you've actually cleared the last major threat that was coming after you all. Good job, Adam. And it's relatively smooth sailing. We'll call it sailing from here. As you fly towards the Greenlands, the lady Lien sort of steps away from the piloting area and eyes Fauchou. Then I stick my head in front of her and just block him from her view. Oh, well, hello, you tall, gangly thing. Remember, when you go gun.
39:25
Good.
39:27
Yes. The rest of it, you'll always want Tongue.
39:33
Tongue. Close. Close. Warmer. Cold. Cold.
39:40
No, we are. Yes, I. I'll want to be reminded of that later. Yes.
39:47
Oh, call me.
39:49
And she kind of looks past Pouf to look at Faucho and sort of eyes to talk with him privately. Thought were friends. We are. We will speak soon. But your friend rescued me. I just wish to speak with him a little bit and. And thank him more directly.
40:14
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
40:16
This is like a. Just basically an open platform. It's like the top of like a double decker bus kind of thing. Like there's no far place to go. So your allies, they can be trusted to follow the Master's plan?
40:39
Yeah. I think they'll be of great use as we help the people rise.
40:48
Good. And you're with us, right?
40:52
Of course.
40:56
Good. It's a shame that my cousin had.
40:59
To fall.
41:01
To further our goals. But. Omelets and eggs, right? I'm sorry, is that the right metaphor? Only my servants cook, so I only have sort of a cursory knowledge.
41:20
It's the right. I was not expecting that.
41:27
Oh, good. The Master must trust you a lot. He gave you the sword.
41:36
It's well placed.
41:37
Trust. Good. I'm glad to hear it. He spoke highly of you as he told of your arrival. Unfortunately, my gifts with the Force never been cultivated that much. But I can feel the training that you've undergone. There's a focus. I've never met anyone quite like that. Even the strongest among us have never had a truly great teacher.
42:11
Princess, where do you see yourself fitting into this whole picture of Master Klebold's plan?
42:18
Currently, my people are divided.
42:20
Well, do you see yourself as just a pawn of Klebold? Or do you look to accomplish greater things?
42:28
I am no pawn. I see myself becoming queen.
42:36
Ew.
42:38
Hope she's queen first.
42:41
Very well. So right now your ambitions are just set on this planet?
42:47
No. No. The Masters made it very clear that my people's destiny is the stars. And when together we unite my people, we will go out there into worlds beyond. And we will bringing them under my house's banner. With me as the matriarch, serving the Master, of course. And you as my vizier.
43:24
Very well.
43:28
Good. I'm glad that we understand. Now remember that I am the Lady Lien, a fascination to all houses. Every year men would try to woo me to earn my affection. And I have remained. I'm going to use air quotes here. Chaste all this time in order to position myself so much better. If you try to betray me, you will find that there are powers outside the Force that can move the hearts of men. Or at least something that they think with.
44:19
Very well. See? We have an understanding.
44:21
Good. Because I'm sure that even young Finn over there is not immune to my wiles. Wait, aren't they cousins? No, Griff was her cousin.
44:36
Yeah. Oh. Oh.
44:40
For some reason I thought Finn was related to Griff. No, Finn is just his apprentice. Well, good. I'm glad to hear that. Now we'll be approaching House Fardor soon, and we must make sure that we all have a united front here. So speak to your people. And she sort of does a little half wave to you to go talk to your people. So foe, Stembolt is up front with Felius, kind of like checking out the engine, making sure everything's good. Hoof is a little bit closer to you if you want to go talk to him.
45:23
She's all yours, buddy.
45:24
All right.
45:25
Hey.
45:26
Oh, hi. Do you have any Gungan in you? I don't, but I'd be interested in finding out about getting some in there.
45:33
Oh, no. Boom. I like where this is going. I don't.
45:38
I pretend we didn't hear that.
45:39
Dexterity. Are we there yet? More like.
45:47
You know it's true.
45:48
69,.
45:50
I must thank you for giving me a moment to speak with my rescuer in private. But now that I have a chance to speak to the person who rescued us all, could I have a few words with you? Yes. All right. Give me a will save, but don't tell me it yet, okay?
46:14
Okay. All right.
46:15
Just so you know, my safe word is keep going. Here's what's messed up about that.
46:25
I think he's serious. I think that actually is a safe one.
46:32
All right. Foe. You have the opportunity to walk up. There's Finn, and then there's Stem, Bolt, and failures. Foe. You can walk up to Finn Stembolt, or Failius. Choose wisely. You have chosen poorly.
46:51
I'm gonna go to Stembolt.
46:54
All right, so you walk up to Stembolt. He's kind of checking out the engine. Kind of amazed that this hunk of junk is actually working. Just because I'm a badass repair specialist, I wouldn't go that far. I think it was kind of luck. No such thing as luck. I've been around this galaxy and I've.
47:11
Seen a lot of things, kid. If you say so. Trick motherfuckers.
47:16
You hear that banter? It's a better drink if you keep a straight face when you say it. I couldn't.
47:24
I couldn't do it. I've had too many drinks already.
47:32
Yes, thank you.
47:32
Oh, right. So. So how are. How are the repairs coming along there, Stimble?
47:40
They're going pretty good. I'm just talking to Felius over here, but it's work on the engines.
47:46
Can just. If the time is right.
47:50
Are.
47:50
Are you able to. To get into. Let's say, like maybe alter records of some sort? I.
48:01
Pretty sure I could, but why?
48:06
I'm. I'm a Little concerned about the princess. We'll have to wait to see some of the things that we face. But I may need your help. All right, well, you knew where to find me. Thank you.
48:25
All these engines. I just, like, slammed my microphone, but I was like, really, like. Okay, you can talk to Finn or to Failius.
48:39
I definitely don't want to talk to failures.
48:41
Okay.
48:42
I'm not going to distract the driver. He has a sign that says, don't talk to the driver while driving. I can't control his face.
48:54
The craft propels forward. You've gotten clear of the badlands that you are in and are now speeding through this low forest very clearly. The grassy fields of House Fedor are right ahead of you. As you guys begin to clear the forest, there is a. In the distance, a dust cloud. Everyone give me spot checks, please. Oh, yeah, that's what we're talking about.
49:35
16.
49:38
What is my asp?
49:39
Minus two.
49:41
22.
49:42
19.
49:44
Minus one. Minus one. Okay, anyone. Anyone who got higher than a 10? I was close. Can very clearly see in the distance that. There are a number of humans riding Tauntauns with bows and arrows. And. Phelius, you got. You broke 10. Yeah, I had 22. Give me a. Dexter, give me a reflex save. Eight. And as they come into focus, an arrow hits you squarely in the chest and you fall out of the driver's seat and the ship slams down safely. It's a rough sort of landing, but the. It comes down and skids and slams into the ground, but everyone's fine. Phelius is lying down on the ground with an arrow in his chest. And these mounted soldiers riding Tauntaun circle around, and clearly the leader, the most ornately dressed, rides up to you with a.
51:22
A spear in his hand, and he shouts, surrender. Surrender the name of House Fardor and we'll end session.
51:32
Well, we'll find out. I was. I'm just thinking about the story now. I'm just trying to figure out what the next plans and the moves for. For foe is. But we'll find out what's gonna happen. I guess we'll find out what happens to Felius next time, but, you know, we'll see what. What Stibalt's up to. We'll see if. If our Gungan gets his tongue in and.
51:51
Well, and what's going down. Because he's going down.
51:56
Hey. Oh. I mean, I guess you got to use the gifts the galaxy gave you, but.
52:01
That's right.
52:01
Yeah. So we'll find out what continues to happen with our Scruffy Nerf Herders next time on the Scruffy nerf Star Wars D20 story. But don't forget, you can check out past episodes, you can check out other podcasts, all part of certain point of view on our website, certainpov.com and until.
52:18
Next time, stay scruffy my Nerf herders cpov certainpov.com.